June 21, 2018


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Tyreek Hill

Kansas City Chiefs

Hill lookin' busty with chiefs new look.

Tyreek Hill had a great 2017, amounting 75 receptions for 1183 yards and 7 touchdowns in 15 games. He’s currently being drafted in the middle of the third round in standard leagues, which would appear to be a great value. However, with promoted RB coach Eric Bieniemy presumably in-line to be the primary play caller, a new QB, Travis Kelce receiving the #1 target share and the addition of Sammy Watkins, I expect Hill’s numbers to decrease dramatically.
I believe Hill to be more of a boom or bust player this year. There’s no denying his break-away speed and ability to separate from defenders, and with Mahomes cannon of an arm, I expect them to connect deep on occasion. However, I believe Sammy Watkins to be the more complete receiver and likely to take more of the target share from Hill. Bundled with the change in offensive strategy toward the end of last year to run the ball more, the change to a young QB presumably resulting in a more conservative game plan, I see a major decline in the amount of touches Hill will get and see him as more of a 5-6 round flex play guy.

06/21/18, 10:54 AM CDT by C-wags


Eric Ebron

Detroit Lions

Ebron Could Use Some Luck

Colts signed TE Eric Ebron, formerly of the Lions, to a two-year contract. Coach Frank Reich called Ebron an "elite tight end."

The last time we saw Andrew Luck healthy (2016), the Colts used 2+ TE sets at the 3rd-highest rate in the NFL and had the 6th-highest target share to TEs.

04/01/18, 11:32 AM CDT by Wheeler


Carlos Hyde

San Francisco 49ers

Hyde and Seek

Browns agreed to terms with RB Carlos Hyde, formerly of the 49ers, on a three-year, $15 million contract.

Obtaining Hyde has several trickle-down effects; first it replaces Crowell who signed with the Jets, it probably diminishes Duke Johnson’s value a bit. Hyde is a better all-around back than Crowell was and will certainly take over the goal-line work seeing that he’s got 20+ pounds on Duke. It also reduces the likelihood that Cleveland takes Saquon Barkley with the 4th pick in the draft. They will most likely look to draft a defensive player (Chubb) or trade down again.

04/01/18, 11:28 AM CDT by Wheeler


Jerick McKinnon

Minnesota Vikings

McKinnon Goes West For Gold-Rush

49ers agreed to terms with RB Jerick McKinnon, formerly of the Vikings, on a four-year, $30 million contract.

McKinnon averaged a ho-hum 3.8 yards a carry for the Vikings and scored three rushing touchdowns. By contrast, San Francisco's former lead runner, Carlos Hyde, averaged 3.9 yards an attempt in 2017 and had eight rushing touchdowns.

It appears as though Shanahan is enamored with McKinnon's athletic metrics, but I'm not so sure he was "pounding the table" to get him. This move could push the Niner's to cut Joe Williams.

04/01/18, 11:12 AM CDT by Wheeler


Mike Wallace

Baltimore Ravens

Eagles Keep Improving

Eagles signed WR Mike Wallace to a one-year contract.
Mike Wallace can still move posting a top five max speed among wide receivers last season. He will fill the void left by Torrey Smith as a speed vertical threat.

04/01/18, 11:08 AM CDT by Wheeler


Terrelle Pryor

Washington Redskins

Jets Searching For Weapons

Jets agreed to terms with WR Terrelle Pryor, formerly of Washington and Cleveland.

Second year in a row on a new team doesn’t really help Pryor's cause, but I like the idea of him on the field with Teddy Bridgewater at some point. I would imagine, with some creativity, the Jets could really design some innovative gadget plays.
The Jets receiving corps really looks like a bunch of question marks at this point though, no telling what the week-to-week outcome will be with these guys.
Jermaine Kearse: 65 catches, 810 yards, 5 touchdowns (2017)
Robby Anderson: 63 catches, 941 yards, 7 touchdowns (2017)
Quincy Enunwa: 58 catches, 857 yards, 4 touchdowns (2016)
Terrelle Pryor: 77 catches, 1007 yards, 4 touchdowns (2016)

04/01/18, 11:04 AM CDT by Wheeler


Carlos Henderson

Denver Broncos

Sleeper Watch

Broncos coach Vance Joseph said the team is "counting on" Carlos Henderson making an impact in 2018.

If you are paying attention to Staggs projections there is plenty of opportunity for Henderson to step into a solid number of targets in the slot. Henderson was hindered by injury and awful QB play last year. Being drafted in the 18th round or later in best-ball leagues, Henderson is the late round flyer that should be on your radar.

04/01/18, 11:00 AM CDT by Wheeler


Ben Watson

Baltimore Ravens

Watson Returns To Big Easy

Saints signed TE Ben Watson, formerly of the Ravens, to a one-year contract.

Watson had 74 catches on 110 targets for 825 yards and 6 TD’s when he was with the Saints in 2015. After missing 2016 he had a pretty good year with Baltimore last year despite an anemic offense, with 61 catches on 79 targets for 522 yards and 4 TD’s. He’s not a bad late round flyer TE. He’s basically free right now, but I expect by the time the season starts he’ll be being drafted within the top 20 at the position.

04/01/18, 10:54 AM CDT by Wheeler


Jeff Janis

Green Bay Packers

Janis Truthers Challenged

Browns officially signed former Packers’ WR Jeff Janis.
The combine superstar never amounted to anything in Green Bay, I highly doubt Cleveland is the place for him to finally break-out.

04/01/18, 10:50 AM CDT by Wheeler


Thomas Rawls

Seattle Seahawks

Jets Sign Rawls

Rawls had five RB1 games in 2015, one in 2016, and has been a disappointment since. He’s not worth your time in fantasy, but he could cause enough disruption in the Jets backfield to cut any upside we might have hoped for from Isaiah Crowell.

04/01/18, 10:48 AM CDT by Wheeler


Allen Robinson

Jacksonville Jaguars

Coo coo ca choo Mr. Robinson

Bears signed WR Allen Robinson, formerly of the Jaguars, to a three-year, $42 million contract.

This is a great move for Robinson and Chicago. Nagy’s offense and the young QB, Trubiski, should benefit Robinson at least as much as Bortles did, and Chicago gets the top WR in free agency.
Everyone on the team will be in a new scheme so there will be an adjustment, but as they start to gel we should see a big second half. Robinson’s recovery from a torn ACL doesn’t scare me away from drafting him in the late third/early fourth, his current MFL10 ADP is 43 overall while his Draft app ADP is 59.9. I expect Robinson to be somewhere in the range of 75 receptions, for 1100 yards and 8 TD’s.

03/24/18, 08:25 PM CDT by Wheeler


Sammy Watkins

Los Angeles Rams

KC Building Strong Air Attack

Chiefs signed Sammy Watkins, formerly of the Rams, to a three-year, $48 million contract.

I’m a big Sammy truther so getting him in the 5th or 6th round is a pure power move. His current Draft app ADP of 87.1 is an absolute steal, his MFL10 ADP of 69.5 is still a great value in my opinion. There are quite a few options for high targets in KC so I don’t expect him to see the 128 targets he saw his rookie year, but he should definitely see more than the 70 he saw last year. He’ll have an entire offseason to work with the near-rookie QB, and at age 25 he should have enough burst left to have a 70 catch, 1050 yd, 8TD line. For his career he has 16 receptions on 30 targets for 12 TD’s in the Red Zone, and 9 receptions on 13 targets, for 8 TD’s inside the opponents 10. He should be the exact WR the Chiefs need to get over the hump. As a team the Chiefs were 34/75 for 13 TD’s in the Red-Zone last year and 12/24 for 10 TD inside the 10.

03/24/18, 08:19 PM CDT by Wheeler


Kirk Cousins

Washington Redskins

Vikings Like That

Kirk Cousins plans to sign a three-year, fully-guaranteed contract from the Minnesota Vikings on Thursday. The deal is believed to be for around $86 million, and reports are it will be fully-guaranteed, a landmark for an NFL free agent.

Should be a lateral move for Kirk as far as fantasy, better WR’s, but fewer passes thrown in this offense. A healthy Dalvin Cook should be able to run out the clock if they are up in the second half of games and take the ball out of Cousins hands near the end zone. It should also help the overall efficiency of the offense so all in all it increases his floor, but cuts any garbage-time production we’ve seen with Washington. Kyle Rudolph becomes a big benefactor here, Cousins loves his TE, especially near the end-zone.

03/24/18, 08:16 PM CDT by Wheeler


Case Keenum

Minnesota Vikings

Denver Makes Case

Broncos signed QB Case Keenum, formerly of the Vikings, to a two-year, $36 million contract.

Well, I was hoping for more than a bridge QB for my favorite WR (D. Thomas), but this is a definite upgrade from the three stooges Denver put behind center last year.

03/24/18, 08:13 PM CDT by Wheeler


LeGarrette Blount

Philadelphia Eagles

Detroit Sparks Up Blount

The Lions signed free agent RB LeGarrette Blount to a 1-year deal worth $4.5M. He’s back with Matt Patricia, as the New England ties are strong.

The Lions have needed a true goal-line/power-back for years. I expect Blount to get between 150-200 touches and all the short-yardage carries. Detroit’s offense doesn’t really fit what Blount brings to the table, but I expect Patricia will have some influence over how the offense will operate from here-on-out.

03/24/18, 08:10 PM CDT by Wheeler


Cleveland Browns

Money Ball: The Sequel

Hate to start out the offseason with the Cleveland Browns, but they are makin’ moves!
Browns acquired: Tyrod Taylor, Jarvis Landry, Damarious Randall
Browns gave up: 2018 3rd-round pick (No. 65), 2018 4th-round pick, 2019 7th-round pick, DeShone Kizer

Building with experienced quality performers that have something to prove, by selling inconsequential draft picks is exactly what Sashi Brown was building up for. It’s a shame he won’t be around to reap the rewards, but these are quality moves for a win-now mentality.

03/09/18, 09:37 PM CST by Wheeler


Tyrod Taylor

Buffalo Bills

Hue Looks To TyGoat

Browns left tackle Joe Thomas, who's pondering his future, is a fan of Tyrod Taylor and has said so on the ThomaHawk Show podcast.

Tyrod is just one season removed (2016) from being the QB11 in average fantasy ppg, including seven 20+ point weeks and six 15+ point weeks. Given the current talent on the O-line and skill position weapons he could improve on those numbers. He has the potential to be this year’s Alex Smith, definitely heading my late-round (12+) QB picks now.

03/09/18, 09:32 PM CST by Wheeler


Deshone Kizer

Cleveland Browns

Packers Get In On The Fun

The Packers have traded for QB DeShone Kizer from the Browns to Green Bay.

This is the best possible scenario for Kizer, who was thrown into the fire last season. Getting the chance to develop and learn behind the best in the business is the best chance he has for longevity.

03/09/18, 09:30 PM CST by Wheeler


Torrey Smith

Philadelphia Eagles

On The Move Again

The Eagles trade WR Torrey Smith to the Panthers for CB Daryl Worley. Torrey Smith could fill the old Ted Ginn role which makes this fairly interesting. Stagg Party says it’s more of a boost for Cam than Torrey himself.

This is an absolute perfect fit, someone who isn’t going to demand the ball, but can take the top off a defense while McCaffrey, Olsen, and Cam work underneath. Torrey is looking like a great late-round flyer.

03/09/18, 09:28 PM CST by Wheeler


DeMarco Murray

Tennessee Titans

Henry Hype Train Has Clear Track

DeMarco Murray was released by the Titans.
No surprise here, expect Derick Henry to be a lead back with 250+ touches, but they will bring in someone that will play the third-down, pass-catching role out of the backfield. I wouldn’t be surprised if they sign someone like Jerick McKinnon or Rex Burkhead, or even Darren Sproles or Charles Sims. There are also plenty of options in the NFL draft, Henry won’t be a true “Bell Cow.”

03/09/18, 09:17 PM CST by Wheeler


bitchslap, Judge Houdini, fantasy football busts for 2016 NFL season

Bitchslap! Installment 1 of 4 (2016)

Posted by d-Rx on 10/08/16

by   The Archer


More Articals



Installment 1 of 4



We are four weeks into the NFL season, which is a time for reflection. There have been many goods things to reflect on so far this fantasy season, but screw the good times; it’s time for BITCHSLAP!!! For those of you who are new to this, I examine the fantasy season in four 4-week segments, and take to task the players that were highly drafted and have completely underperformed during this time frame. I line them up and give em’ a good ole BITCHSLAP!!! There is no carry over in BITCHSLAP!!!  When I come out with my next installment four weeks from now, I will only be looking at the stats from Week 5-8. This is a fun way to let out some frustrations on the players that have ruined your Sunday’s over the past 4 weeks, and hopefully spur them on to bigger and better things so they don’t end up in installment two. The final and most important element of the shaming is for any player(s) who winds up in each and every installment of BITCHSLAP!!! as they will be awarded with the Golden Sombrero BITCHSLAP!!! Also known as the GSBS!!! Last season Eddie Lacy, Alfred Morris, Jordan Cameron and C.J. Anderson were all winners of the GSBS!!! Who will it be this year?






Russell you were supposed to build on the fantastic end to last season and blow it up this year. The only things you have blown up have been fantasy wins. You scored a pathetic 37.5 fantasy points over your first three games, with only two touchdown passes. You are already banged up and now your owners have no running attack to count on. You rank 20th in fantasy points per game and that is with your strong performance in Week 4. You have a bye in Week 5, but that is really just so you can recover from this BITCHSLAP!!!



After your first two games of the season I figured there was no way you would be on this list. At that time you were averaging 21.6 fantasy points per game, but then you fell flat on your face scoring a total of 15 points over your last two games. You are taking a lot of hits in the pocket, and now you are taking a hit from this BITCHSLAP!!!



Eli, do you realize that your 13.3 fantasy points per game ranks 28th in the league and that you are averaging fewer points per game than Blaine Gabbert? Well ya are, and well that sucks!!! Watching you play I feel bad for Peyton on Sunday Morning, but good thing he has all the games to watch so he doesn’t have to see your poor play, or this BITCHSLAP!!!



Fitzmagic you made off with a lot of money and then did a disappearing act with fantasy points. You have already thrown 10 interceptions on the year, and scored negative 2.3 fantasy points in Week 3. You are ranked 32nd in the league in average fantasy points per game with a pitiable 10.7pts. You are only completing 55.8% of your passes, but you are 100% receiving a BITCHSLAP!!!






Lamar you have not gotten off to the hot start that your owners were hoping for when you signed with Houston. At least the only thing you are really doing wrong is not scoring touchdowns. You have over 100 total yards in three of four games, and have rushed for over 80 yards in each game, but you need to find the endzone. Let’s hope you get a feeling for the endzone after your face regains feeling from this come back to touchdown life BITCHSLAP!!!



Todd you have not lived up to first round draft pick expectations this season, scoring just two touchdowns that both came in Week 3. Other than that game you have failed to score more than 8.2 fantasy points in any other game. I know that teams are stacking the line against you, but you are supposed to be able to overcome. I will help you overcome your demons with this BITCHSLAP!!!



Latavius you have had all the benefits that you should not have been here, scoring a touchdown in each of your first three games, but that was about all you did. You scored your best against the Saints and Falcons, two world-class defenses there, and averaged 6.6 fantasy points per game against the Ravens and Titans. You were scoring touchdowns, but not getting touches, and now you are going to miss next week’s game with a toe injury, but we all know its from the pain and shaming of this BITCHSLAP!!!



Gio you are reminding me of the Geo Metro the way you have started out this season. Watching your fantasy production is like listening to the glory of that three-cylinder engine. You have puttered along this season, scoring less than five fantasy points in three of four games. You have not been worthy of starting, and would become worthy of dropping except for the fact that you are a quick injury away from being the main man in Cincy. Unfortunately the only quick injury around these parts comes courtesy of a BITCHSLAP!!!



You only played in two games during this stanza, and wow, they were displays of pitifulness, scoring a total of 6.6 fantasy points. The last game you played in rushing seven times for negative seven yards was a fantasy nightmare. The worst part of this nightmare is that you have likely lost your starting job to Christine Michael, or at least will be sharing a whole lot of carries with him when you get back, so you better toughen up with this BITCHSLAP!!!





ARob, you are off to a slow start and have robbed your owners of wins this year. You have yet to have a breakout game, with fewer than 57 yards in three games and high yardage week of only 72 yards. You have at least started to come out of it in the last two weeks with three touchdowns, but that lack of yardage gives your owners a lack of fantasy production with those scores, and scores you a big ole BITCHSLAP!!!



You started of the season with a boom, scoring 27.4 fantasy points in the season opener, highlighted by a 98-yard catch and run for a touchdown. Since then you have been about as poor a start as there have been in fantasy, averaging 3.9 fantasy points per game over your last three. You are supposed to be in a highflying offense, but the only thing flying high around here is your BITCHSLAP!!!



Nuke we all thought you were off to a slow start over the first two weeks when you were scoring but not dominating, averaging 14.4 fantasy points per game. Since then you have been virtually invisible in the offense, catching just five passes for 60 yards over your last two games. That type of production has driven your owners to the point of insanity where the only thing that will give them relief is giving you this BITCHSLAP!!!



Amari you started off the season strong, catching six passes for 137 yards in the season opener, but you have only averaged 60 yards per game since. The biggest problem with your game is that you are not scoring touchdowns, while Michael Crabtree caught three in Week 4. You have relinquished the role of top receiver to Crabtree and taken on the role of the receiver getting a BITCHSLAP!!!



You came out of the gate quick with 201 receiving yards through your first two games, but then you only managed 70 and 46 yards over your last two games. The one constant for you this season has been not being able to find the endzone. You can blame it on Cutler getting hurt and have Brian Hoyer at quarterback, but they are basically the same statistically so I am not buying it. You have one of the largest throwing areas with your leaping ability and length, so you are sure to catch this BITCHSLAP!!!



BMarsh, you have been up and down all season, but the ups have not been that high and lows have been low. You are averaging 12.5 fantasy points per game in even numbered weeks, 3.0 fantasy points per game in odd numbered weeks, and overall that is only 7.7 fantasy points per week which ranks you 37th in the league. You finally caught your first touchdown in Week 4, but you also still caught this BITCHSLAP!!!



Odell you are the guy people want when you are on fire, but you look like a down and out teenager who just had his computer taken away from him when I see you on the sidelines this year. I get it; you have only scored more than 10 fantasy points in a week once this year, and have yet to find the endzone. Your performance this year has made your owners give your same pouty face, so maybe this will get you going and them smiling when I give you this BITCHSLAP!!!



Jeremy you have had a real ho-hum start to the year. You have been consistent, but that does not mean good. You have only scored more than 10 fantasy points once, and that came in Week 1. Since then you have averaged only 6.0 fantasy points per week. There have been no big splash games, so the biggest splash I can make is with a BITCHSLAP!!!



Dez it is another year and another disappointing start to the fantasy season. You are dinged up again, but you did play in three games…at least I think you played in three games, but who could tell when you score a total of 21 fantasy points. You had one 100-yard game, and then combined for 48 yards in the other two. You missed an MRI, so you screwed over your owners who might have picked up a replacement. For that as well as your poor play you get this well deserved Desbian BITCHSLAP!!!



Michael you have scored two touchdowns this year, which should be almost enough to keep you off my list, but when you average 42 yards per game you are not going to score a lot of fantasy points. Larry Fitzgerald looks like a rookie and you look like you know what’s coming…BITCHSLAP!!!



You had a measly 92 receiving yards over your first three games, so even though you posted 144 yards in Week 4 it was not going to save you, especially without scoring a touchdown. In fact you have not scored a regular season touchdown since Week 11 of last season. You, like Michael Floyd, were supposed to be the top two receivers for the Cardinals and instead you are two of a kind BITCHSLAP!!!






Gronk, you missed the first two games and gave no indication that you would miss those games in the preseason, screwing over all those team who grabbed you in the first round. Then you come back, and in two games have posted a total stat line of 1-11-0. Those numbers are correct, just one catch for 11 yards. I don’t care that Brady was not there, that is not what is expected of you. This is an easy decision to dull you out this wake and become Gronk again BITCHSLAP!!!



Coby, you were supposed to thrive in this tight end friendly offense with Drew Brees at the helm, and you have given your owners one glimpse of that and three glimpses of complete putridness. In those three duds you totaled 5.4 fantasy points, an astounding 1.8 fantasy points per game average. Maybe you should stop drinking Hurricanes and get back to practice with this Big Easy BITCHSLAP!!!



Mr. Gates, you have had a long an illustrious career, but it looks like the end is near. You only played in the first two games and put up a paltry six catches for 35 yards with one touchdown. You are dealing with injuries and father time, so here’s to keeping the father at bay with this fountain of youth BITCHSLAP!!!



Everyone thought you were going to be a big beneficiary of Dak Prescott taking over at quarterback, being an easier read for the rookie, but you have only two games with more than 50 yards, with a high yardage mark of 66 and no touchdowns. Dez is missing time and you are allowing guys like Brice Butler to make an impact. Now it’s time for me to make an impact with this BITCHSLAP!!!



Gary you were taken with the expectations that you would build on the success of last season, and you gave your owners a grim sign of what was to come with your goose egg in Week 1. You have averaged only 53 yards per game since then, and have yet to find the endzone. You have become a check down receiver who is not doing much after the catch. With the lack of talent around you, you should be shinning brighter, but the only thing shinning bright will be your face from this BITCHSLAP!!!



By: Houdini


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