Week 11
November 19, 2017
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Leonard Fournette

Jacksonville Jaguars

Rookie Wall?


Fournette came off of essentially 20 days of resting and rehabbing the injured ankle suffered in the fourth quarter of Jacksonville’s October 15th loss to the Rams, when he suited up last week against the L.A. Chargers. Last week, he carried 17 times for 33 yards. According to Florida Football Insiders, Leonard Fournette's ankle is "still not right," and he could be limited if he plays this week against the Browns.

I’ve heard a few people recognize that Cleveland’s run defense has been underrated this year. They started out pretty strong, but they have been fading lately, especially when it comes to the pass-catching backs over the past five games. Yeldon or Ivory could be that sneaky flex you’re looking for.


11/18/17, 11:12 PM CST by Wheeler

Source: www.floridafootballinsiders.com

Jacksonville Jaguars

Ground and Pound


According to Forecast.io, it's expected to be 39° F and with a 18% chance of snow and 20 MPH wind in Cleveland at 1:00 PM ET.

This is something to watch Sunday morning, especially if you were high on the Jacksonville passing game facing Cleveland this weekend. The snow doesn’t matter, but the wind could eliminate any deep balls. If you’re looking for a Dede or K. Cole explosion, like I have been, I think we’re going to have to wait at least one more week. Marquis Lee should be fine, he’ll still get his targets. The running game should benefit, but Fournette is questionable with an ankle.


11/18/17, 11:02 PM CST by Wheeler

Source: www.rotowire.com


Jay Ajayi

Philadelphia Eagles

Ajayi Slated for More Work in Week 11


Coaches have come out and said there is a concentrated effort to increase Ajayi's workload.

Fantasy Goo: Certainly Corey Clement impressed in their last game, Week 9 against Denver. However, he won't sustain the pace of 3TDs on just 13 touches. I do like both players in GPP, I would certainly save Clement for the larger tournaments where you take on more risk in order to differentiate yourself from the field. Still, Ajayi has had a bye week and a game to get familiar with his new digs. Each game from now on, should highlight his comfort and growth in the system.


11/18/17, 03:02 PM CST by PyromaniacMo

Source: www.philly.com


Devonta Freeman

Atlanta Falcons

Coleman to Increase Workload Sans Freeman


Devonta Freeman is in concussion protocol. That leaves Tevin 'Betchya Bottom Dollar" Coleman to pick up extra duties.

Fantasy Goo: Freeman was taken out very early on in last week's game. Because of this, Coleman seized the reins with command. He finished as Draft Kings 10th best RB of the week. Their Week 11 matchup with the Seahawks could easily turn into a high schoring affair as Seattle is without starters Richard Sherman, Kam Chancellor, and Jarran Reed. What Seattle puts on the field will not resemble what we are accustomed to. Coleman should seize thee opportunity.


11/18/17, 02:33 PM CST by PyromaniacMo

Source: www.fftoday.com


Tevin Coleman

Atlanta Falcons

Coleman to Increase Workload Sans Freeman


Devonta Freeman is in concussion protocol. That leaves Tevin 'Betchya Bottom Dollar" Coleman to pick up extra duties.

Fantasy Goo: Freeman was taken out very early on in last week's game. Because of this, Coleman seized the reins with command. He finished as Draft Kings 10th best RB of the week. Their Week 11 matchup with the Seahawks could easily turn into a high schoring affair as Seattle is without starters Richard Sherman, Kam Chancellor, and Jarran Reed. What Seattle puts on the field will not resemble what we are accustomed to. Coleman should seize thee opportunity.


11/18/17, 02:33 PM CST by PyromaniacMo

Source: www.fftoday.com

Buffalo Bills

Bills Getting Gashed


In the last 3 weeks, the Buffalo Bills have given up 8 TDS. There is not a team in the league that has given up more than 8 rushing TDS ALL SEASON!

Fantasy Goo: There is trepidation about Gordon this week. Ekeler made a bit of a name for himself last week as Gordon owners experienced fits or rage and madness last week. I still like Gordon even in cash this week. Still whichever back you prefer, they should have a field day.


11/18/17, 12:55 PM CST by PyromaniacMo

Source: www.fftoday.com


Jamaal Williams

Green Bay Packers

Next Man Up


As expected, Ty Montgomery officially ruled OUT for Sunday against the Ravens. Jamaal Williams should start at running back.

Williams is not Montgomery or Jones, I would not recommend starting him if you can prevent it. It will probably take a positive game script for him to be heavily use, don’t be surprised if we see Cobb being used in the backfield, especially in third-and-long situations.


11/17/17, 09:32 PM CST by Wheeler

Source: twitter.com


Alshon Jeffery

Philadelphia Eagles

Open Door for Agholor


Eagles coach Doug Pederson says that Alshon Jeffery's ankle injury has been lingering for a while, but he is "optimistic" he'll play against the Cowboys Sunday night. He will be listed as questionable.

I’m looking at Nelson Agholor having a nice opportunity to put up some points with Dallas being the 24th ranked defense against opposing WR’s. Ertz coming off of the injury report is an obvious play, he’s a must start whenever he’s on the field.

It seems as though Jeffery plays through injuries every year, but he’s not very effective when he does. His injuries tend to linger and former performance enhancer users tend to get hurt more often.


11/17/17, 09:28 PM CST by Wheeler

Source: twitter.com


Kareem Hunt

Kansas City Chiefs

KC Ready to Run


The KC/NYG game could experience heavy winds, and certainly, a blowout of the Giants is a likely outcome as well. If either, or both of these potential situations play out, it could be good things for the KC ground game.

Fantasy Goo: The Giants have surrendered 3 rushing TD in their last 2 games. On the season, they have given up the 5th most yards to opposing backs. Hunt is a great cash game play, and in GPPs, I will toss out a few line-ups with West, maybe 5%. If indeed it is a blowout, the Chiefs, led by Reid who is 16-2 off a bye, could look to lighten the load for their workhorse RB and let Charcandrick bat cleanup.


11/17/17, 07:04 PM CST by PyromaniacMo

Source: www.cbssports.com


Charcandrick West

Kansas City Chiefs

KC Ready to Run


The KC/NYG game could experience heavy winds, and certainly, a blowout of the Giants is a likely outcome as well. If either, or both of these potential situations play out, it could be good things for the KC ground game.

Fantasy Goo: The Giants have surrendered 3 rushing TD in their last 2 games. On the season, they have given up the 5th most yards to opposing backs. Hunt is a great cash game play, and in GPPs, I will toss out a few line-ups with West, maybe 5%. If indeed it is a blowout, the Chiefs, led by Reid who is 16-2 off a bye, could look to lighten the load for their workhorse RB and let Charcandrick bat cleanup.


11/17/17, 07:04 PM CST by PyromaniacMo

Source: www.cbssports.com


Sterling Shepard

New York Giants

Sterling Shepard's Time to Shine


The Giants are going to need to put the ball in the air against KC. Keep an eye on the winds in this one. If it is north of 15mph, I will lessen my DFS shares.

Fantasy Goo: If the winds are not bad, Shep could get some looks as he should dominate KC's Steven Nelson. There are 84 starting cornerbacks in the NFL for Week #11. Nelson comes in at #80 according to PFF


11/17/17, 06:55 PM CST by PyromaniacMo

Source: www.nflweather.com


Tom Brady

New England Patriots

Brady a Top Bet for DFS Cash Games


The Patriots stayed in mile-high country last week in order to get acclimated to higher altitudes. The Raiders remained at sea level. This week they square off in Mexico City, which is much higher than one mile up. The difference could be seen in the 2nd half where the Raiders could run out of gas.

Fantasy Goo: Regardless of the elevation narrative, this game opened as the only 50 pointer this coming week. Football Outsiders ranks Oakland dead last for defensive DVOA, weighted defense, and overall pass ranking. Plus, Tom Brady is a great stack with Gronk against Oakland who is notoriously bad versus tight ends. Finally, New England will likely be missing Hogan, the recipient of 11 red zone targets this season. Gronk could easily be the beneficiary, as he has 13 himself.


11/17/17, 06:38 PM CST by PyromaniacMo

Source: www.footballoutsiders.com


Rob Gronkowski

New England Patriots

Brady a Top Bet for DFS Cash Games


The Patriots stayed in mile-high country last week in order to get acclimated to higher altitudes. The Raiders remained at sea level. This week they square off in Mexico City, which is much higher than one mile up. The difference could be seen in the 2nd half where the Raiders could run out of gas.

Fantasy Goo: Regardless of the elevation narrative, this game opened as the only 50 pointer this coming week. Football Outsiders ranks Oakland dead last for defensive DVOA, weighted defense, and overall pass ranking. Plus, Tom Brady is a great stack with Gronk against Oakland who is notoriously bad versus tight ends. Finally, New England will likely be missing Hogan, the recipient of 11 red zone targets this season. Gronk could easily be the beneficiary, as he has 13 himself.


11/17/17, 06:38 PM CST by PyromaniacMo

Source: www.footballoutsiders.com


Chris Hogan

New England Patriots

Brady a Top Bet for DFS Cash Games


The Patriots stayed in mile-high country last week in order to get acclimated to higher altitudes. The Raiders remained at sea level. This week they square off in Mexico City, which is much higher than one mile up. The difference could be seen in the 2nd half where the Raiders could run out of gas.

Fantasy Goo: Regardless of the elevation narrative, this game opened as the only 50 pointer this coming week. Football Outsiders ranks Oakland dead last for defensive DVOA, weighted defense, and overall pass ranking. Plus, Tom Brady is a great stack with Gronk against Oakland who is notoriously bad versus tight ends. Finally, New England will likely be missing Hogan, the recipient of 11 red zone targets this season. Gronk could easily be the beneficiary, as he has 13 himself.


11/17/17, 06:38 PM CST by PyromaniacMo

Source: www.footballoutsiders.com


Mike Evans

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

FanDuel Triple Play - Pass Go Collect 2TDS


This Sunday is "National Play Monopoly day." What does that mean for FD? Absolutely nothing, but I'm taking a "chance" and grabbing these 3 players that have a bit higher price tag because that's how I won at Monopoly.

Mike Evans @MIA - $7,800 - Much like AJ Green last week, I am banking on Evans to deliver his game of redemption and bounce back in a BIG way. Ryan Fitzpatrick will only have eyes for the 6'5 Evans as he once did for Brandon Marshall in NY. Evans will coast down A1A for 2TDS!

Travis Kelce @NYG - $7,500 - Kelce has 3TDs in the last 3 games. The Giants are giving up a TD every game to opposing TEs this season. That's crazy! Momma ain't raise no fool. 1+1= 2TDs!

Melvin Gordon vsBUF - $7,800 - The Bills gave up 50FPTS at home to the Saints dynamic duo of Mark Ingram and Alvin Kamara just last week, and now have to fly to LA. Gordon will stampede all over the Buffalo Bills. 2TDs in da house!


11/16/17, 12:43 AM CST by Pete Z

Source: www.pyromaniac.com


Travis Kelce

Kansas City Chiefs

FanDuel Triple Play - Pass Go Collect 2TDS


This Sunday is "National Play Monopoly day." What does that mean for FD? Absolutely nothing, but I'm taking a "chance" and grabbing these 3 players that have a bit higher price tag because that's how I won at Monopoly.

Mike Evans @MIA - $7,800 - Much like AJ Green last week, I am banking on Evans to deliver his game of redemption and bounce back in a BIG way. Ryan Fitzpatrick will only have eyes for the 6'5 Evans as he once did for Brandon Marshall in NY. Evans will coast down A1A for 2TDS!

Travis Kelce @NYG - $7,500 - Kelce has 3TDs in the last 3 games. The Giants are giving up a TD every game to opposing TEs this season. That's crazy! Momma ain't raise no fool. 1+1= 2TDs!

Melvin Gordon vsBUF - $7,800 - The Bills gave up 50FPTS at home to the Saints dynamic duo of Mark Ingram and Alvin Kamara just last week, and now have to fly to LA. Gordon will stampede all over the Buffalo Bills. 2TDs in da house!


11/16/17, 12:42 AM CST by Pete Z

Source: www.pyromaniac.com


Melvin Gordon

Los Angeles Chargers

FanDuel Triple Play - Pass Go Collect 2TDS


This Sunday is "National Play Monopoly day." What does that mean for FD? Absolutely nothing, but I'm taking a "chance" and grabbing these 3 players that have a bit higher price tag because that's how I won at Monopoly.

Mike Evans @MIA - $7,800 - Much like AJ Green last week, I am banking on Evans to deliver his game of redemption and bounce back in a BIG way. Ryan Fitzpatrick will only have eyes for the 6'5 Evans as he once did for Brandon Marshall in NY. Evans will coast down A1A for 2TDS!

Travis Kelce @NYG - $7,500 - Kelce has 3TDs in the last 3 games. The Giants are giving up a TD every game to opposing TEs this season. That's crazy! Momma ain't raise no fool. 1+1= 2TDs!

Melvin Gordon vsBUF - $7,800 - The Bills gave up 50FPTS at home to the Saints dynamic duo of Mark Ingram and Alvin Kamara just last week, and now have to fly to LA. Gordon will stampede all over the Buffalo Bills. 2TDs in da house!


11/15/17, 11:23 PM CST by Pete Z

Source: www.pyromaniac.com


Latavius Murray

Minnesota Vikings

Waiver Wire Pickup Target for Week 11


LATAVIUS MURRAY – RB – VIKINGS – AVAILABLE IN 34% OF CBS LEAGUES

He is still getting a lot of touches, and this week had 17 carries for 68 yards with a touchdown. Getting the redzone carries makes him a worthy add in deeper leagues.


11/14/17, 07:43 PM CST by Houdini

Source: www.pyromaniac.com


Garrett Celek

San Francisco 49ers

Waiver Wire Pickup Target for Week 11


GARRETT CELEK – TE – 49ERS – AVAILABLE IN 95% OF CBS LEAGUES

With George Kittle out of the game, Celek had four catches for 67 yards with a 47-yard touchdown. He is viable as long as Kittle is out.


11/14/17, 07:43 PM CST by Houdini

Source: www.pyromaniac.com


Jamison Crowder

Washington Redskins

Waiver Wire Pickup Target for Week 11


JAMISON CROWDER – WR – REDSKINS – AVAILABLE IN 61% OF CBS LEAGUES

Crowder came back to action and had four receptions for 76 yards and one run for five yards. He is finally starting to make an impact when healthy.


11/14/17, 07:41 PM CST by Houdini

Source: www.pyromaniac.com


Matt Breida

San Francisco 49ers

Waiver Wire Pickup Target for Week 11


MATT BREIDA – RB – 49ERS – AVAILABLE IN 95% OF CBS LEAUGES

Breida had himself a nice game this week, carrying the ball nine times for 55 yards with a touchdown and had one catch for three yards. The 49ers are looking to the future, and Breida will get more looks going forward.


11/14/17, 07:41 PM CST by Houdini

Source: www.pyromaniac.com


Case Keenum

Minnesota Vikings

Waiver Wire Pickup Target for Week 11


CASE KEENUM – QB – VIKINGS – AVAILABLE IN 73% OF CBS LEAGUES

Looking for a quarterback? Well, how about Keenum? He has the job and the weapons and is doing well. This week he completed 21 of 29 passes for 304 yards with four touchdowns and two interceptions. This is a first place team and they need him the rest of the way.


11/14/17, 07:39 PM CST by Houdini

Source: www.pyromaniac.com


Corey Davis

Tennessee Titans

Waiver Wire Pickup Target for Week 11


COREY DAVIS – WR – TITANS – AVAILABLE IN 42% OF CBS LEAGUES

Davis had four receptions for 48 yards, so not what we are expecting, but there is light for the future. He is starting to see more targets, and is the future of what the Titans want to be. He will see more looks going forward.


11/14/17, 07:38 PM CST by Houdini

Source: www.pyromaniac.com


Marqise Lee

Jacksonville Jaguars

Waiver Wire Pickup Target for Week 11


MARQISE LEE – WR – JAGUARS – AVAILABLE IN 42% OF CBS LEAGUES

He is on this list every week, and he came through again with six catches for 55 yards and a score. He is the best option in the Jaguars passing game.


11/14/17, 07:38 PM CST by Houdini

Source: www.pyromaniac.com

bitchslap, Judge Houdini, fantasy football busts for 2016 NFL season

Bitchslap! Installment 1 of 4 (2016)

Posted by d-Rx on 10/08/16

by   The Archer


@TheArcher


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BITCHSLAP!!!

Installment 1 of 4

 

 

We are four weeks into the NFL season, which is a time for reflection. There have been many goods things to reflect on so far this fantasy season, but screw the good times; it’s time for BITCHSLAP!!! For those of you who are new to this, I examine the fantasy season in four 4-week segments, and take to task the players that were highly drafted and have completely underperformed during this time frame. I line them up and give em’ a good ole BITCHSLAP!!! There is no carry over in BITCHSLAP!!!  When I come out with my next installment four weeks from now, I will only be looking at the stats from Week 5-8. This is a fun way to let out some frustrations on the players that have ruined your Sunday’s over the past 4 weeks, and hopefully spur them on to bigger and better things so they don’t end up in installment two. The final and most important element of the shaming is for any player(s) who winds up in each and every installment of BITCHSLAP!!! as they will be awarded with the Golden Sombrero BITCHSLAP!!! Also known as the GSBS!!! Last season Eddie Lacy, Alfred Morris, Jordan Cameron and C.J. Anderson were all winners of the GSBS!!! Who will it be this year?

 

 

QUARTERBACKS

 

RUSSELL WILSON

Russell you were supposed to build on the fantastic end to last season and blow it up this year. The only things you have blown up have been fantasy wins. You scored a pathetic 37.5 fantasy points over your first three games, with only two touchdown passes. You are already banged up and now your owners have no running attack to count on. You rank 20th in fantasy points per game and that is with your strong performance in Week 4. You have a bye in Week 5, but that is really just so you can recover from this BITCHSLAP!!!

 

CARSON PALMER

After your first two games of the season I figured there was no way you would be on this list. At that time you were averaging 21.6 fantasy points per game, but then you fell flat on your face scoring a total of 15 points over your last two games. You are taking a lot of hits in the pocket, and now you are taking a hit from this BITCHSLAP!!!

 

ELI MANNING

Eli, do you realize that your 13.3 fantasy points per game ranks 28th in the league and that you are averaging fewer points per game than Blaine Gabbert? Well ya are, and well that sucks!!! Watching you play I feel bad for Peyton on Sunday Morning, but good thing he has all the games to watch so he doesn’t have to see your poor play, or this BITCHSLAP!!!

 

RYAN FITZPATRICK

Fitzmagic you made off with a lot of money and then did a disappearing act with fantasy points. You have already thrown 10 interceptions on the year, and scored negative 2.3 fantasy points in Week 3. You are ranked 32nd in the league in average fantasy points per game with a pitiable 10.7pts. You are only completing 55.8% of your passes, but you are 100% receiving a BITCHSLAP!!!

 

 

RUNNING BACKS

 

LAMAR MILLER

Lamar you have not gotten off to the hot start that your owners were hoping for when you signed with Houston. At least the only thing you are really doing wrong is not scoring touchdowns. You have over 100 total yards in three of four games, and have rushed for over 80 yards in each game, but you need to find the endzone. Let’s hope you get a feeling for the endzone after your face regains feeling from this come back to touchdown life BITCHSLAP!!!

 

TODD GURLEY

Todd you have not lived up to first round draft pick expectations this season, scoring just two touchdowns that both came in Week 3. Other than that game you have failed to score more than 8.2 fantasy points in any other game. I know that teams are stacking the line against you, but you are supposed to be able to overcome. I will help you overcome your demons with this BITCHSLAP!!!

 

LATAVIUS MURRAY

Latavius you have had all the benefits that you should not have been here, scoring a touchdown in each of your first three games, but that was about all you did. You scored your best against the Saints and Falcons, two world-class defenses there, and averaged 6.6 fantasy points per game against the Ravens and Titans. You were scoring touchdowns, but not getting touches, and now you are going to miss next week’s game with a toe injury, but we all know its from the pain and shaming of this BITCHSLAP!!!

 

GIOVANI BERNARD

Gio you are reminding me of the Geo Metro the way you have started out this season. Watching your fantasy production is like listening to the glory of that three-cylinder engine. You have puttered along this season, scoring less than five fantasy points in three of four games. You have not been worthy of starting, and would become worthy of dropping except for the fact that you are a quick injury away from being the main man in Cincy. Unfortunately the only quick injury around these parts comes courtesy of a BITCHSLAP!!!

 

THOMAS RAWLS

You only played in two games during this stanza, and wow, they were displays of pitifulness, scoring a total of 6.6 fantasy points. The last game you played in rushing seven times for negative seven yards was a fantasy nightmare. The worst part of this nightmare is that you have likely lost your starting job to Christine Michael, or at least will be sharing a whole lot of carries with him when you get back, so you better toughen up with this BITCHSLAP!!!

 


WIDE RECEIVERS

 

ALLEN ROBINSON

ARob, you are off to a slow start and have robbed your owners of wins this year. You have yet to have a breakout game, with fewer than 57 yards in three games and high yardage week of only 72 yards. You have at least started to come out of it in the last two weeks with three touchdowns, but that lack of yardage gives your owners a lack of fantasy production with those scores, and scores you a big ole BITCHSLAP!!!

 

BRANDIN COOKS

You started of the season with a boom, scoring 27.4 fantasy points in the season opener, highlighted by a 98-yard catch and run for a touchdown. Since then you have been about as poor a start as there have been in fantasy, averaging 3.9 fantasy points per game over your last three. You are supposed to be in a highflying offense, but the only thing flying high around here is your BITCHSLAP!!!

 

DEANDRE HOPKINS

Nuke we all thought you were off to a slow start over the first two weeks when you were scoring but not dominating, averaging 14.4 fantasy points per game. Since then you have been virtually invisible in the offense, catching just five passes for 60 yards over your last two games. That type of production has driven your owners to the point of insanity where the only thing that will give them relief is giving you this BITCHSLAP!!!

 

AMARI COOPER

Amari you started off the season strong, catching six passes for 137 yards in the season opener, but you have only averaged 60 yards per game since. The biggest problem with your game is that you are not scoring touchdowns, while Michael Crabtree caught three in Week 4. You have relinquished the role of top receiver to Crabtree and taken on the role of the receiver getting a BITCHSLAP!!!

 

ALSHON JEFFERY

You came out of the gate quick with 201 receiving yards through your first two games, but then you only managed 70 and 46 yards over your last two games. The one constant for you this season has been not being able to find the endzone. You can blame it on Cutler getting hurt and have Brian Hoyer at quarterback, but they are basically the same statistically so I am not buying it. You have one of the largest throwing areas with your leaping ability and length, so you are sure to catch this BITCHSLAP!!!

 

BRANDON MARSHALL

BMarsh, you have been up and down all season, but the ups have not been that high and lows have been low. You are averaging 12.5 fantasy points per game in even numbered weeks, 3.0 fantasy points per game in odd numbered weeks, and overall that is only 7.7 fantasy points per week which ranks you 37th in the league. You finally caught your first touchdown in Week 4, but you also still caught this BITCHSLAP!!!

 

ODELL BECKHAM JR.

Odell you are the guy people want when you are on fire, but you look like a down and out teenager who just had his computer taken away from him when I see you on the sidelines this year. I get it; you have only scored more than 10 fantasy points in a week once this year, and have yet to find the endzone. Your performance this year has made your owners give your same pouty face, so maybe this will get you going and them smiling when I give you this BITCHSLAP!!!

 

JEREMY MACLIN

Jeremy you have had a real ho-hum start to the year. You have been consistent, but that does not mean good. You have only scored more than 10 fantasy points once, and that came in Week 1. Since then you have averaged only 6.0 fantasy points per week. There have been no big splash games, so the biggest splash I can make is with a BITCHSLAP!!!

 

DEZ BRYANT

Dez it is another year and another disappointing start to the fantasy season. You are dinged up again, but you did play in three games…at least I think you played in three games, but who could tell when you score a total of 21 fantasy points. You had one 100-yard game, and then combined for 48 yards in the other two. You missed an MRI, so you screwed over your owners who might have picked up a replacement. For that as well as your poor play you get this well deserved Desbian BITCHSLAP!!!

 

MICHAEL FLOYD

Michael you have scored two touchdowns this year, which should be almost enough to keep you off my list, but when you average 42 yards per game you are not going to score a lot of fantasy points. Larry Fitzgerald looks like a rookie and you look like you know what’s coming…BITCHSLAP!!!

 

JOHN BROWN

You had a measly 92 receiving yards over your first three games, so even though you posted 144 yards in Week 4 it was not going to save you, especially without scoring a touchdown. In fact you have not scored a regular season touchdown since Week 11 of last season. You, like Michael Floyd, were supposed to be the top two receivers for the Cardinals and instead you are two of a kind BITCHSLAP!!!

 

 

TIGHT ENDS

 

ROB GRONKOWSKI

Gronk, you missed the first two games and gave no indication that you would miss those games in the preseason, screwing over all those team who grabbed you in the first round. Then you come back, and in two games have posted a total stat line of 1-11-0. Those numbers are correct, just one catch for 11 yards. I don’t care that Brady was not there, that is not what is expected of you. This is an easy decision to dull you out this wake and become Gronk again BITCHSLAP!!!

 

COBY FLEENER

Coby, you were supposed to thrive in this tight end friendly offense with Drew Brees at the helm, and you have given your owners one glimpse of that and three glimpses of complete putridness. In those three duds you totaled 5.4 fantasy points, an astounding 1.8 fantasy points per game average. Maybe you should stop drinking Hurricanes and get back to practice with this Big Easy BITCHSLAP!!!

 

ANTONIO GATES

Mr. Gates, you have had a long an illustrious career, but it looks like the end is near. You only played in the first two games and put up a paltry six catches for 35 yards with one touchdown. You are dealing with injuries and father time, so here’s to keeping the father at bay with this fountain of youth BITCHSLAP!!!

 

JASON WITTEN

Everyone thought you were going to be a big beneficiary of Dak Prescott taking over at quarterback, being an easier read for the rookie, but you have only two games with more than 50 yards, with a high yardage mark of 66 and no touchdowns. Dez is missing time and you are allowing guys like Brice Butler to make an impact. Now it’s time for me to make an impact with this BITCHSLAP!!!

 

GARY BARNIDGE

Gary you were taken with the expectations that you would build on the success of last season, and you gave your owners a grim sign of what was to come with your goose egg in Week 1. You have averaged only 53 yards per game since then, and have yet to find the endzone. You have become a check down receiver who is not doing much after the catch. With the lack of talent around you, you should be shinning brighter, but the only thing shinning bright will be your face from this BITCHSLAP!!!


 


 

By: Houdini

 

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