June 21, 2018


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Tyreek Hill

Kansas City Chiefs

Hill lookin' busty with chiefs new look.

Tyreek Hill had a great 2017, amounting 75 receptions for 1183 yards and 7 touchdowns in 15 games. He’s currently being drafted in the middle of the third round in standard leagues, which would appear to be a great value. However, with promoted RB coach Eric Bieniemy presumably in-line to be the primary play caller, a new QB, Travis Kelce receiving the #1 target share and the addition of Sammy Watkins, I expect Hill’s numbers to decrease dramatically.
I believe Hill to be more of a boom or bust player this year. There’s no denying his break-away speed and ability to separate from defenders, and with Mahomes cannon of an arm, I expect them to connect deep on occasion. However, I believe Sammy Watkins to be the more complete receiver and likely to take more of the target share from Hill. Bundled with the change in offensive strategy toward the end of last year to run the ball more, the change to a young QB presumably resulting in a more conservative game plan, I see a major decline in the amount of touches Hill will get and see him as more of a 5-6 round flex play guy.

06/21/18, 10:54 AM CDT by C-wags


Eric Ebron

Detroit Lions

Ebron Could Use Some Luck

Colts signed TE Eric Ebron, formerly of the Lions, to a two-year contract. Coach Frank Reich called Ebron an "elite tight end."

The last time we saw Andrew Luck healthy (2016), the Colts used 2+ TE sets at the 3rd-highest rate in the NFL and had the 6th-highest target share to TEs.

04/01/18, 11:32 AM CDT by Wheeler


Carlos Hyde

San Francisco 49ers

Hyde and Seek

Browns agreed to terms with RB Carlos Hyde, formerly of the 49ers, on a three-year, $15 million contract.

Obtaining Hyde has several trickle-down effects; first it replaces Crowell who signed with the Jets, it probably diminishes Duke Johnson’s value a bit. Hyde is a better all-around back than Crowell was and will certainly take over the goal-line work seeing that he’s got 20+ pounds on Duke. It also reduces the likelihood that Cleveland takes Saquon Barkley with the 4th pick in the draft. They will most likely look to draft a defensive player (Chubb) or trade down again.

04/01/18, 11:28 AM CDT by Wheeler


Jerick McKinnon

Minnesota Vikings

McKinnon Goes West For Gold-Rush

49ers agreed to terms with RB Jerick McKinnon, formerly of the Vikings, on a four-year, $30 million contract.

McKinnon averaged a ho-hum 3.8 yards a carry for the Vikings and scored three rushing touchdowns. By contrast, San Francisco's former lead runner, Carlos Hyde, averaged 3.9 yards an attempt in 2017 and had eight rushing touchdowns.

It appears as though Shanahan is enamored with McKinnon's athletic metrics, but I'm not so sure he was "pounding the table" to get him. This move could push the Niner's to cut Joe Williams.

04/01/18, 11:12 AM CDT by Wheeler


Mike Wallace

Baltimore Ravens

Eagles Keep Improving

Eagles signed WR Mike Wallace to a one-year contract.
Mike Wallace can still move posting a top five max speed among wide receivers last season. He will fill the void left by Torrey Smith as a speed vertical threat.

04/01/18, 11:08 AM CDT by Wheeler


Terrelle Pryor

Washington Redskins

Jets Searching For Weapons

Jets agreed to terms with WR Terrelle Pryor, formerly of Washington and Cleveland.

Second year in a row on a new team doesn’t really help Pryor's cause, but I like the idea of him on the field with Teddy Bridgewater at some point. I would imagine, with some creativity, the Jets could really design some innovative gadget plays.
The Jets receiving corps really looks like a bunch of question marks at this point though, no telling what the week-to-week outcome will be with these guys.
Jermaine Kearse: 65 catches, 810 yards, 5 touchdowns (2017)
Robby Anderson: 63 catches, 941 yards, 7 touchdowns (2017)
Quincy Enunwa: 58 catches, 857 yards, 4 touchdowns (2016)
Terrelle Pryor: 77 catches, 1007 yards, 4 touchdowns (2016)

04/01/18, 11:04 AM CDT by Wheeler


Carlos Henderson

Denver Broncos

Sleeper Watch

Broncos coach Vance Joseph said the team is "counting on" Carlos Henderson making an impact in 2018.

If you are paying attention to Staggs projections there is plenty of opportunity for Henderson to step into a solid number of targets in the slot. Henderson was hindered by injury and awful QB play last year. Being drafted in the 18th round or later in best-ball leagues, Henderson is the late round flyer that should be on your radar.

04/01/18, 11:00 AM CDT by Wheeler


Ben Watson

Baltimore Ravens

Watson Returns To Big Easy

Saints signed TE Ben Watson, formerly of the Ravens, to a one-year contract.

Watson had 74 catches on 110 targets for 825 yards and 6 TD’s when he was with the Saints in 2015. After missing 2016 he had a pretty good year with Baltimore last year despite an anemic offense, with 61 catches on 79 targets for 522 yards and 4 TD’s. He’s not a bad late round flyer TE. He’s basically free right now, but I expect by the time the season starts he’ll be being drafted within the top 20 at the position.

04/01/18, 10:54 AM CDT by Wheeler


Jeff Janis

Green Bay Packers

Janis Truthers Challenged

Browns officially signed former Packers’ WR Jeff Janis.
The combine superstar never amounted to anything in Green Bay, I highly doubt Cleveland is the place for him to finally break-out.

04/01/18, 10:50 AM CDT by Wheeler


Thomas Rawls

Seattle Seahawks

Jets Sign Rawls

Rawls had five RB1 games in 2015, one in 2016, and has been a disappointment since. He’s not worth your time in fantasy, but he could cause enough disruption in the Jets backfield to cut any upside we might have hoped for from Isaiah Crowell.

04/01/18, 10:48 AM CDT by Wheeler


Allen Robinson

Jacksonville Jaguars

Coo coo ca choo Mr. Robinson

Bears signed WR Allen Robinson, formerly of the Jaguars, to a three-year, $42 million contract.

This is a great move for Robinson and Chicago. Nagy’s offense and the young QB, Trubiski, should benefit Robinson at least as much as Bortles did, and Chicago gets the top WR in free agency.
Everyone on the team will be in a new scheme so there will be an adjustment, but as they start to gel we should see a big second half. Robinson’s recovery from a torn ACL doesn’t scare me away from drafting him in the late third/early fourth, his current MFL10 ADP is 43 overall while his Draft app ADP is 59.9. I expect Robinson to be somewhere in the range of 75 receptions, for 1100 yards and 8 TD’s.

03/24/18, 08:25 PM CDT by Wheeler


Sammy Watkins

Los Angeles Rams

KC Building Strong Air Attack

Chiefs signed Sammy Watkins, formerly of the Rams, to a three-year, $48 million contract.

I’m a big Sammy truther so getting him in the 5th or 6th round is a pure power move. His current Draft app ADP of 87.1 is an absolute steal, his MFL10 ADP of 69.5 is still a great value in my opinion. There are quite a few options for high targets in KC so I don’t expect him to see the 128 targets he saw his rookie year, but he should definitely see more than the 70 he saw last year. He’ll have an entire offseason to work with the near-rookie QB, and at age 25 he should have enough burst left to have a 70 catch, 1050 yd, 8TD line. For his career he has 16 receptions on 30 targets for 12 TD’s in the Red Zone, and 9 receptions on 13 targets, for 8 TD’s inside the opponents 10. He should be the exact WR the Chiefs need to get over the hump. As a team the Chiefs were 34/75 for 13 TD’s in the Red-Zone last year and 12/24 for 10 TD inside the 10.

03/24/18, 08:19 PM CDT by Wheeler


Kirk Cousins

Washington Redskins

Vikings Like That

Kirk Cousins plans to sign a three-year, fully-guaranteed contract from the Minnesota Vikings on Thursday. The deal is believed to be for around $86 million, and reports are it will be fully-guaranteed, a landmark for an NFL free agent.

Should be a lateral move for Kirk as far as fantasy, better WR’s, but fewer passes thrown in this offense. A healthy Dalvin Cook should be able to run out the clock if they are up in the second half of games and take the ball out of Cousins hands near the end zone. It should also help the overall efficiency of the offense so all in all it increases his floor, but cuts any garbage-time production we’ve seen with Washington. Kyle Rudolph becomes a big benefactor here, Cousins loves his TE, especially near the end-zone.

03/24/18, 08:16 PM CDT by Wheeler


Case Keenum

Minnesota Vikings

Denver Makes Case

Broncos signed QB Case Keenum, formerly of the Vikings, to a two-year, $36 million contract.

Well, I was hoping for more than a bridge QB for my favorite WR (D. Thomas), but this is a definite upgrade from the three stooges Denver put behind center last year.

03/24/18, 08:13 PM CDT by Wheeler


LeGarrette Blount

Philadelphia Eagles

Detroit Sparks Up Blount

The Lions signed free agent RB LeGarrette Blount to a 1-year deal worth $4.5M. He’s back with Matt Patricia, as the New England ties are strong.

The Lions have needed a true goal-line/power-back for years. I expect Blount to get between 150-200 touches and all the short-yardage carries. Detroit’s offense doesn’t really fit what Blount brings to the table, but I expect Patricia will have some influence over how the offense will operate from here-on-out.

03/24/18, 08:10 PM CDT by Wheeler


Cleveland Browns

Money Ball: The Sequel

Hate to start out the offseason with the Cleveland Browns, but they are makin’ moves!
Browns acquired: Tyrod Taylor, Jarvis Landry, Damarious Randall
Browns gave up: 2018 3rd-round pick (No. 65), 2018 4th-round pick, 2019 7th-round pick, DeShone Kizer

Building with experienced quality performers that have something to prove, by selling inconsequential draft picks is exactly what Sashi Brown was building up for. It’s a shame he won’t be around to reap the rewards, but these are quality moves for a win-now mentality.

03/09/18, 09:37 PM CST by Wheeler


Tyrod Taylor

Buffalo Bills

Hue Looks To TyGoat

Browns left tackle Joe Thomas, who's pondering his future, is a fan of Tyrod Taylor and has said so on the ThomaHawk Show podcast.

Tyrod is just one season removed (2016) from being the QB11 in average fantasy ppg, including seven 20+ point weeks and six 15+ point weeks. Given the current talent on the O-line and skill position weapons he could improve on those numbers. He has the potential to be this year’s Alex Smith, definitely heading my late-round (12+) QB picks now.

03/09/18, 09:32 PM CST by Wheeler


Deshone Kizer

Cleveland Browns

Packers Get In On The Fun

The Packers have traded for QB DeShone Kizer from the Browns to Green Bay.

This is the best possible scenario for Kizer, who was thrown into the fire last season. Getting the chance to develop and learn behind the best in the business is the best chance he has for longevity.

03/09/18, 09:30 PM CST by Wheeler


Torrey Smith

Philadelphia Eagles

On The Move Again

The Eagles trade WR Torrey Smith to the Panthers for CB Daryl Worley. Torrey Smith could fill the old Ted Ginn role which makes this fairly interesting. Stagg Party says it’s more of a boost for Cam than Torrey himself.

This is an absolute perfect fit, someone who isn’t going to demand the ball, but can take the top off a defense while McCaffrey, Olsen, and Cam work underneath. Torrey is looking like a great late-round flyer.

03/09/18, 09:28 PM CST by Wheeler


DeMarco Murray

Tennessee Titans

Henry Hype Train Has Clear Track

DeMarco Murray was released by the Titans.
No surprise here, expect Derick Henry to be a lead back with 250+ touches, but they will bring in someone that will play the third-down, pass-catching role out of the backfield. I wouldn’t be surprised if they sign someone like Jerick McKinnon or Rex Burkhead, or even Darren Sproles or Charles Sims. There are also plenty of options in the NFL draft, Henry won’t be a true “Bell Cow.”

03/09/18, 09:17 PM CST by Wheeler


Judge houdini is back with Installment 2 of the Bitchslap!!! article!

Bitchslap! Installment 2 of 4 (2016)

Posted by d-Rx on 11/15/16

by   The Archer


More Articals









Eli, it’s your second time here, and it looked like you had a good chance to avoid the pain this go around when you threw for 403 yards with three touchdowns and two interceptions in Week 6. Unfortunately in Week’s five and seven you threw for a total of 395 yards with one touchdown and no interceptions. You have shown the propensity to have the big game, but you are throwing around way too many crap shows. Your owners deserve better, and from me they demand I give you this BITCHSLAP!!!



Russell you were especially worthless during this stanza. You played in three games, and failed to throw or score a touchdown in each game. You finished with an average of 249 passing yards per game with no touchdowns and one interception. You were a world-beater last season, and this season you have been a mighty anchor. For that I am going to drop anchor and this BITCHSLAP!!!



Fitzmagic you are not this season, and this second stanza was just as bad as the first. The good news is you only threw one interception in four games, but the bad news is you only threw three touchdowns in four games. On top of that you did not help you owners out with any yards, in fact you threw for an average of 194 yards per game with a high game of 255 yards and a low game of 120 yards. I plan to gain some major yardage when I reach back and give you this BITCHSLAP!!!






Lamar you had a huge game in Week 6 with 178 total yards and two touchdowns. Your totals for Weeks 5, 7 and 8 were a paltry 154 total yards with one touchdown. You were very highly drafted this season, and you have very seriously underperformed. Your owners can’t bench you because of your potential, I know this because I am one, so I am going to do the only thing I can which is drop back and lay the hammer to you with this BITCHSLAP!!!



Todd it has been a disastrous season for you, and it doesn’t seem to matter what the week because the outcome is always the same. You get about 90 total yards and score a touchdown once every four weeks. You were the #1 overall pick for many owners this season, and while you have been consistent, you have not been good. I understand that you are on a horrible offense and defenses are doing everything to stop you, but you need to rise up and overcome these obstacles because if you don’t you will continue to get hit with a BITCHSLAP!!!






Brandon you had a nice game in Week 5 with eight catches for 114 yards and a touchdown, but in the follow three weeks you totaled 10 catches for 177 yards with no touchdowns. You have had just one 100-yard game and one touchdown in each of the four-week stanzas claiming you spot in each of these lists with your consistent bad performances. The only good thing is I get to work on my technique…check out this textbook BITCHSLAP!!!



Alshon you have beaten the odds and made it to this list twice while playing for a new contract. All I can tell you is that if you end up here all season your contract will be pretty shitty. You numbers in this last period were not total shit, but an average of five catches for 66 yards per game with one touchdown in four games is not what owners expected when they drafted you as highly as they did. You are playing for a new contract and to get the hell out of Chicago, so let me get you there faster with your second BITCHSLAP!!!



Johnny my boy it has not been a good season for you. You played in three games this period and had a total of 10 catches for 114 yards and one touchdown. Beside the touchdown you did not one bit of good for your fantasy owners with games of 11, 49 and 54 yards. Nothing has seemed to go right for you this season and it seems like a nightmare, but that is nothing compared to the nightmares you will have after this BITCHSLAP!!!



ARob you have robbed your owners of wins all season, and your three games in this last stanza were more fuel for their fire. You caught one touchdown and had receiving games of 9, 70 and 76 yards. In fact, you were targeted 34 times but only caught 15 passes. You are getting the targets but not the connections. You need to be more like me because I am now two for two on you with this BITCHSLAP!!!



Hey Floyd, are you still playing football? I couldn’t tell after the stats you put up in your last four games. You totaled a measly seven receptions for 87 yards with one touchdown. The worst part is that had a big fat GOOSE EGG in Weeks 5 and 8. Way to go bookending this stanza with two complete dumpers of games. It should be no surprise that I am going to dump you on your ass with this BITCHSLAP!!!






Coby you keep trying to do just enough to stay out of my crosshairs, but one good game every four weeks is not going to get it done. In this stanza you only played in three games, and you looked good in Week 6 with six catches for 74 yards with a touchdown. You followed that up with seven catches for 78 yards with no scores over your next two games. You have been extremely average and even more frustrating, and the only thing that makes it better is knowing the only Coby of note is Kobe Bryant, and here’s your BITCHSLAP!!!









C.J. I know that things did not go well for you with the injury, but this is still based on your performance during Weeks 5-7. Before your season ended you had your best game of the season with 16 carries for 107 yards and a touchdown in Week 7. Unfortunately the two prior weeks were weak with a total of 21 carries for 78 yards. Had you not gotten hurt you might not have been here, but it is what it is and what it is is a BITCHSLAP!!!



Eddie you only made through two games in this stanza, but you failed to rush for a 100 yards or score a touchdown in either game.  You were supposed to be a dominating back in a dominating offense, and instead were just a guy on an average offense. Your owners take offense to that and demand justice with a BITCHSLAP!!!



Mark you had one of the more pathetic stanzas of any player this time around. In the three games you played you had 35 carries for 118 rushing yards and six catches for 29 yards with one touchdown and two fumbles. Your fumbles in Weeks 7 and 8 cost you playing time and your owners wins. With Drew Brees and the receivers surrounding you, much more is expected, and you should’ve been expecting this BITCHSLAP!!!






Demaryius you did score a touchdown in two of the four games this stanza, but you did not have a 100-yard game, and actually had 49 or fewer yards in three of the four games with a high yardage game of 79 yards. Those numbers are not desirable, and the touchdowns are the only thing that has made starting you bearable. We don’t want bearable on our teams, and we greet bearable with a BITCHSLAP!!!



Jordy you did have a touchdown in Weeks 5 and 8, but you did not gain enough yards to avoid my wrath. You had a total of 209 receiving yards and 94 of those came in Week 8. The most disturbing stat of this period is that you had a total of 14 catches in four games. You were the player that owners were stashing in their leagues at the end of last season, and these are the types of games you reward them with? Let me reward you with your BITCHSLAP!!!



Marvin you set the fantasy world on fire to start the season, and there were many owners who made trades for you, but the only owners feeling good are the sellers. That is because you had a total of 13 catches for 174 yards, although you did catch two touchdowns. The only problem with those scores is that they came in games where you had 37 and 10 receiving yards. So, Marvin, Marvin, Marvin…what’s going on? What’s going on? What’s going on is a BITCHSLAP!!!



The first four weeks of the season were magic for you Will, and it seemed like you were primed to have an amazing rookie season, and then came your three games in this stanza. You totaled a dreadful six catches for 49 yards with a high water mark of four catches for 22 yards in Week 7. You are a rookie who is going to have ups and downs, so it is best you learn what happens when a lot is expected and you don’t deliver…I deliver your BITCHSLAP!!!






Travis you almost saved your skin with you breakout game in Week 8 when you caught seven passes for 101 yards with a score, but your two previous outings needed a bit more than that to save you. In those two games you had 32 and 24 receiving yards with no scores. You were a coveted tight end during the draft, but you have been a whole lot of “meh” to this point. Let’s hope you build on your Week 8 success, or you will be back for another BITCHSLAP!!! 




By: Houdini


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