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May 24, 2018
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Eric Ebron

Detroit Lions

Ebron Could Use Some Luck


Colts signed TE Eric Ebron, formerly of the Lions, to a two-year contract. Coach Frank Reich called Ebron an "elite tight end."

The last time we saw Andrew Luck healthy (2016), the Colts used 2+ TE sets at the 3rd-highest rate in the NFL and had the 6th-highest target share to TEs.


04/01/18, 11:32 AM CDT by Wheeler

Source: twitter.com


Carlos Hyde

San Francisco 49ers

Hyde and Seek


Browns agreed to terms with RB Carlos Hyde, formerly of the 49ers, on a three-year, $15 million contract.

Obtaining Hyde has several trickle-down effects; first it replaces Crowell who signed with the Jets, it probably diminishes Duke Johnson’s value a bit. Hyde is a better all-around back than Crowell was and will certainly take over the goal-line work seeing that he’s got 20+ pounds on Duke. It also reduces the likelihood that Cleveland takes Saquon Barkley with the 4th pick in the draft. They will most likely look to draft a defensive player (Chubb) or trade down again.


04/01/18, 11:28 AM CDT by Wheeler

Source: twitter.com


Jerick McKinnon

Minnesota Vikings

McKinnon Goes West For Gold-Rush


49ers agreed to terms with RB Jerick McKinnon, formerly of the Vikings, on a four-year, $30 million contract.

McKinnon averaged a ho-hum 3.8 yards a carry for the Vikings and scored three rushing touchdowns. By contrast, San Francisco's former lead runner, Carlos Hyde, averaged 3.9 yards an attempt in 2017 and had eight rushing touchdowns.

It appears as though Shanahan is enamored with McKinnon's athletic metrics, but I'm not so sure he was "pounding the table" to get him. This move could push the Niner's to cut Joe Williams.


04/01/18, 11:12 AM CDT by Wheeler

Source: www.sacbee.com


Mike Wallace

Baltimore Ravens

Eagles Keep Improving


Eagles signed WR Mike Wallace to a one-year contract.
Mike Wallace can still move posting a top five max speed among wide receivers last season. He will fill the void left by Torrey Smith as a speed vertical threat.


04/01/18, 11:08 AM CDT by Wheeler

Source: twitter.com


Terrelle Pryor

Washington Redskins

Jets Searching For Weapons


Jets agreed to terms with WR Terrelle Pryor, formerly of Washington and Cleveland.

Second year in a row on a new team doesn’t really help Pryor's cause, but I like the idea of him on the field with Teddy Bridgewater at some point. I would imagine, with some creativity, the Jets could really design some innovative gadget plays.
The Jets receiving corps really looks like a bunch of question marks at this point though, no telling what the week-to-week outcome will be with these guys.
Jermaine Kearse: 65 catches, 810 yards, 5 touchdowns (2017)
Robby Anderson: 63 catches, 941 yards, 7 touchdowns (2017)
Quincy Enunwa: 58 catches, 857 yards, 4 touchdowns (2016)
Terrelle Pryor: 77 catches, 1007 yards, 4 touchdowns (2016)


04/01/18, 11:04 AM CDT by Wheeler

Source: twitter.com


Carlos Henderson

Denver Broncos

Sleeper Watch


Broncos coach Vance Joseph said the team is "counting on" Carlos Henderson making an impact in 2018.

If you are paying attention to Staggs projections there is plenty of opportunity for Henderson to step into a solid number of targets in the slot. Henderson was hindered by injury and awful QB play last year. Being drafted in the 18th round or later in best-ball leagues, Henderson is the late round flyer that should be on your radar.


04/01/18, 11:00 AM CDT by Wheeler

Source: www.denverpost.com


Ben Watson

Baltimore Ravens

Watson Returns To Big Easy


Saints signed TE Ben Watson, formerly of the Ravens, to a one-year contract.

Watson had 74 catches on 110 targets for 825 yards and 6 TD’s when he was with the Saints in 2015. After missing 2016 he had a pretty good year with Baltimore last year despite an anemic offense, with 61 catches on 79 targets for 522 yards and 4 TD’s. He’s not a bad late round flyer TE. He’s basically free right now, but I expect by the time the season starts he’ll be being drafted within the top 20 at the position.


04/01/18, 10:54 AM CDT by Wheeler

Source: twitter.com


Jeff Janis

Green Bay Packers

Janis Truthers Challenged


Browns officially signed former Packers’ WR Jeff Janis.
The combine superstar never amounted to anything in Green Bay, I highly doubt Cleveland is the place for him to finally break-out.


04/01/18, 10:50 AM CDT by Wheeler

Source: twitter.com


Thomas Rawls

Seattle Seahawks

Jets Sign Rawls


Rawls had five RB1 games in 2015, one in 2016, and has been a disappointment since. He’s not worth your time in fantasy, but he could cause enough disruption in the Jets backfield to cut any upside we might have hoped for from Isaiah Crowell.


04/01/18, 10:48 AM CDT by Wheeler

Source: www.newyorkjets.com


Allen Robinson

Jacksonville Jaguars

Coo coo ca choo Mr. Robinson


Bears signed WR Allen Robinson, formerly of the Jaguars, to a three-year, $42 million contract.

This is a great move for Robinson and Chicago. Nagy’s offense and the young QB, Trubiski, should benefit Robinson at least as much as Bortles did, and Chicago gets the top WR in free agency.
Everyone on the team will be in a new scheme so there will be an adjustment, but as they start to gel we should see a big second half. Robinson’s recovery from a torn ACL doesn’t scare me away from drafting him in the late third/early fourth, his current MFL10 ADP is 43 overall while his Draft app ADP is 59.9. I expect Robinson to be somewhere in the range of 75 receptions, for 1100 yards and 8 TD’s.


03/24/18, 08:25 PM CDT by Wheeler

Source: twitter.com


Sammy Watkins

Los Angeles Rams

KC Building Strong Air Attack


Chiefs signed Sammy Watkins, formerly of the Rams, to a three-year, $48 million contract.

I’m a big Sammy truther so getting him in the 5th or 6th round is a pure power move. His current Draft app ADP of 87.1 is an absolute steal, his MFL10 ADP of 69.5 is still a great value in my opinion. There are quite a few options for high targets in KC so I don’t expect him to see the 128 targets he saw his rookie year, but he should definitely see more than the 70 he saw last year. He’ll have an entire offseason to work with the near-rookie QB, and at age 25 he should have enough burst left to have a 70 catch, 1050 yd, 8TD line. For his career he has 16 receptions on 30 targets for 12 TD’s in the Red Zone, and 9 receptions on 13 targets, for 8 TD’s inside the opponents 10. He should be the exact WR the Chiefs need to get over the hump. As a team the Chiefs were 34/75 for 13 TD’s in the Red-Zone last year and 12/24 for 10 TD inside the 10.


03/24/18, 08:19 PM CDT by Wheeler

Source: www.pro-football-reference.com


Kirk Cousins

Washington Redskins

Vikings Like That


Kirk Cousins plans to sign a three-year, fully-guaranteed contract from the Minnesota Vikings on Thursday. The deal is believed to be for around $86 million, and reports are it will be fully-guaranteed, a landmark for an NFL free agent.

Should be a lateral move for Kirk as far as fantasy, better WR’s, but fewer passes thrown in this offense. A healthy Dalvin Cook should be able to run out the clock if they are up in the second half of games and take the ball out of Cousins hands near the end zone. It should also help the overall efficiency of the offense so all in all it increases his floor, but cuts any garbage-time production we’ve seen with Washington. Kyle Rudolph becomes a big benefactor here, Cousins loves his TE, especially near the end-zone.


03/24/18, 08:16 PM CDT by Wheeler

Source: twitter.com


Case Keenum

Minnesota Vikings

Denver Makes Case


Broncos signed QB Case Keenum, formerly of the Vikings, to a two-year, $36 million contract.

Well, I was hoping for more than a bridge QB for my favorite WR (D. Thomas), but this is a definite upgrade from the three stooges Denver put behind center last year.


03/24/18, 08:13 PM CDT by Wheeler

Source: twitter.com


LeGarrette Blount

Philadelphia Eagles

Detroit Sparks Up Blount


The Lions signed free agent RB LeGarrette Blount to a 1-year deal worth $4.5M. He’s back with Matt Patricia, as the New England ties are strong.

The Lions have needed a true goal-line/power-back for years. I expect Blount to get between 150-200 touches and all the short-yardage carries. Detroit’s offense doesn’t really fit what Blount brings to the table, but I expect Patricia will have some influence over how the offense will operate from here-on-out.


03/24/18, 08:10 PM CDT by Wheeler

Source: twitter.com

Cleveland Browns

Money Ball: The Sequel


Hate to start out the offseason with the Cleveland Browns, but they are makin’ moves!
Browns acquired: Tyrod Taylor, Jarvis Landry, Damarious Randall
Browns gave up: 2018 3rd-round pick (No. 65), 2018 4th-round pick, 2019 7th-round pick, DeShone Kizer

Building with experienced quality performers that have something to prove, by selling inconsequential draft picks is exactly what Sashi Brown was building up for. It’s a shame he won’t be around to reap the rewards, but these are quality moves for a win-now mentality.


03/09/18, 09:37 PM CST by Wheeler

Source: twitter.com


Tyrod Taylor

Buffalo Bills

Hue Looks To TyGoat


Browns left tackle Joe Thomas, who's pondering his future, is a fan of Tyrod Taylor and has said so on the ThomaHawk Show podcast.

Tyrod is just one season removed (2016) from being the QB11 in average fantasy ppg, including seven 20+ point weeks and six 15+ point weeks. Given the current talent on the O-line and skill position weapons he could improve on those numbers. He has the potential to be this year’s Alex Smith, definitely heading my late-round (12+) QB picks now.


03/09/18, 09:32 PM CST by Wheeler

Source: twitter.com


Deshone Kizer

Cleveland Browns

Packers Get In On The Fun


The Packers have traded for QB DeShone Kizer from the Browns to Green Bay.

This is the best possible scenario for Kizer, who was thrown into the fire last season. Getting the chance to develop and learn behind the best in the business is the best chance he has for longevity.


03/09/18, 09:30 PM CST by Wheeler

Source: twitter.com


Torrey Smith

Philadelphia Eagles

On The Move Again


The Eagles trade WR Torrey Smith to the Panthers for CB Daryl Worley. Torrey Smith could fill the old Ted Ginn role which makes this fairly interesting. Stagg Party says it’s more of a boost for Cam than Torrey himself.

This is an absolute perfect fit, someone who isn’t going to demand the ball, but can take the top off a defense while McCaffrey, Olsen, and Cam work underneath. Torrey is looking like a great late-round flyer.


03/09/18, 09:28 PM CST by Wheeler

Source: twitter.com


DeMarco Murray

Tennessee Titans

Henry Hype Train Has Clear Track


DeMarco Murray was released by the Titans.
No surprise here, expect Derick Henry to be a lead back with 250+ touches, but they will bring in someone that will play the third-down, pass-catching role out of the backfield. I wouldn’t be surprised if they sign someone like Jerick McKinnon or Rex Burkhead, or even Darren Sproles or Charles Sims. There are also plenty of options in the NFL draft, Henry won’t be a true “Bell Cow.”


03/09/18, 09:17 PM CST by Wheeler

Source: twitter.com


Marquise Goodwin

San Francisco 49ers

The Name Says It All


Marquise Goodwin and the 49ers have agreed to a 3yr extension worth $20.3M & 10M guaranteed.

Shanahan has found his big-play threat at a reasonable price. Goodwin caught 56 balls for 962 yards last season, but only had two TD’s. None of his six longest plays (33+ yards) were from Garoppollo so it leads me to believe they will still be looking for a top of the line WR, even with Garcon coming back from injury.


03/09/18, 09:15 PM CST by Wheeler

Source: twitter.com

Houdini has been bitchslapping underperforming fantasy football players since 1994

Bitchslap!!! Installment 2 of 4 (2017)

Posted by Houdini on 11/22/17

by   The Archer


@TheArcher


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Installment 2 of 4

 

 

Time has passed in fantasy and there are plenty of players that let their owners down in this second stanza between Week’s 5-8. It is time to take these players to the woodshed and let them have it for letting their owners and fantasy teams down during this stretch. Without further ado, let’s get into this second installment.


 

TWO TIMERS

 

QUARTERBACKS

 

DEREK CARR

Derek you were just as aweful in the second stanza as you were in the first. You only completed 81 of 131 passes for 901 yards with five touchdowns and four interceptions. You were supposed to be a top 5 quarterback this year, and you have not been in the top five in any week. You have derailed most of the fantasy teams that drafted you, so it is my pleasure to run you over with this freight train BITCHSLAP!!!

 

MATT RYAN

Matt, you only played in three games during this stanza, but they fell way short of expectations. You ended up throwing for 735 yards with four touchdowns and one interception, but you just go by in all your games. You failed to throw for more than 254 yards in any game, and have become a completely ordinary quarterback. Ordinary quarterbacks don’t win fantasy championships, they get a BITCHSLAP!!!

 

 

RUNNING BACKS

 

CHRISTIAN MCCAFFREY

Christian, you showed some growth during these four weeks, but you still have a long ways to go to get out of my crosshairs. In these four games you carried the ball 18 times for only 28 yards with no touchdowns. Your only saving grace was your ability as a receiver, catching 27 of 37 targets for 172 yards and two touchdowns. That is a mere 4.44 yards per touch, and that is that kind of average that will lose you touches going forward. There is one touch that you have managed to do better than any other, and you are still in the running to touch them all with your second welcome to the NFL BITCHSLAP!!!

 

JAY AJAYI

Jay, you were supposed to be a top running back this year, but you have failed to deliver on those promises. You finished this frame with 87 carries for 281 yards and caught nine passes for 46 yards, but you failed to find the endzone and lost a fumble. You did most of your damage in one week with 130 rushing yards against Atlanta but failed to make any waves in the other games. You had three 200-yard games last year, and now can barely get to that level in four games. That earns you the underachieving double down BITCHSLAP!!!

 

JOE MIXON

Joe, you have been an extreme disappointment all season, and while you only played in three games during this period, your trend continued. You carried the ball 33 times for 117 yards with one touchdown, which is a paltry 3.5 YPR. You did much better as a receiver with six catches for 111 yards without a touchdown, but you did add a fumble. You show a glimpse here and there of what you can be, but the reality is that you have a well-earned and deserved second BITCHSLAP!!!

 

MARSHAWN LYNCH

Marshawn you are a player that never found yourself on my lists when you were a member of the Seahawks, but that is not case as a member of the Raiders. In these three games you carried the ball 27 times for a mere 115 yards with one touchdown and only added one reception for 10 yards. You have been a one-dimensional player this year, and that one dimension is connected to your second BITCHSLAP!!!

 

EDDIE LACY

Eddie, you have taken the place of Marshawn Lynch in the Seahawks offense, but it seems like the two of you are playing like twins this year. You had 32 carries in this period and only managed 73 yards and caught two passes for 18 yards. That would be a decent total for a game, but as a three game total is pure disaster. Since no one is starting you anymore, let me send you to the waiver wire with your second BITCHSLAP!!!

 

 

WIDE RECEIVERS

 

JULIO JONES

Julio this was supposed to be a bounce back breakout year for you, and instead it has been a heartbreak year for your owners. In these three games you were targeted 26 times and caught 18 of them for 245 yards with one touchdown. You have not the been the dominator that wins weeks for your owners by your stats alone, instead you are the reason they are losing games. This season you are on your way to Bust status, but in the meantime here’s your second BITCHSLAP!!!

 

DEZ BRYANT

Dez, you have been a completely ordinary wide receiver this season, and while you were able to score two touchdowns during the three games you played in this stanza, they were not enough to keep you from my wrath. You only caught 16 passes for 154 yards, with a high game of 63 yards. You are not a WR1 anymore, you are barely a WR3 or flex option, but you are the proud owner of another BITCHSLAP!!!

 

DEMARYIUS THOMAS

DT, you also only played in three games, and it looked like you might avoid me this go around with your 10 catches for 133 yards against the Giants, but then the next two weeks happened. You only managed seven catches for 75 yards with a fumble and failed to find the endzone. In fact you have failed to find the endzone through this point in the season, but you have found your second BITCHSLAP!!!

 

DESEAN JACKSON

DJAX, you have yet to hit big in any week this season, and it seems as if you have lost a step. You were targeted 31 times, but only caught 16 passes for 254 yards with one touchdown in these four games. You are doing just enough to not get dropped, but I have a feeling you might drop to your knees after this BITCHSLAP!!!

 

MARTAVIS BRYANT

Well, what is there to say except that you may have been one of the worst draft picks that owners made this season. In this period you caught eight passes for 51 yards with no touchdowns in three games. You should be dropped in all leagues, and I am going to make sure you are dropped with this crybaby, trade me I am better than JuJu BITCHSLAP!!!

 

TERRELLE PRYOR

Hey Terrelle, I see you over there laughing at what I just did to Martavis, but you are an even bigger disaster. Your owners wished that they had the Martavis Bryant numbers, as you only managed five catches for 37 yards, including a zero-catch game. You have been a zero all season, and now you can be less than zero with another BITCHSLAP!!!

 

 

TIGHT ENDS

 

JORDAN REED

Jordan, you only played in three games during this stretch and you had a nice performance in Week 7 with eight catches for 64 yards with two touchdowns. Unfortunately, you only had five catches for 42 yards total in the other two games. You have been totally inconsistent, and oft-injured, probably from getting another BITCHSLAP!!!

 

KYLE RUDOLPH

When you look at your numbers on the whole for this period they don’t look horrible, with 22 receptions for 162 yards and two touchdowns. Although, you failed to reach 50 yards in any game, and those touchdowns just kept your stats above water. I am happy you are treading water, but get ready for a deeper dip after your second BITCHSLAP!!!

 

MARTELLUS BENNETT

Martellus, your stats this year are as mythical as the Black Unicorn you claim to be. You played in three games this period and managed seven receptions for 92 yards with no touchdowns. You talk a big game, but your talk has materialized into losses for your owners, making you the proud owner of your second BITCHSLAP!!!

 

 

FIRST TIMERS

 

HOUDINI

Hey Dini, what the hell is wrong with you??? It takes you right up until the next BITCHSLAP!!! is due before you give us installment 2??? Hey douchebag, stop making excuses and hit your damn deadlines, and enjoy your first BITCHSLAP!!!

 

 

QUARTERBACKS

 

JAMEIS WINSTON

Jameis, the Bucs have been horrible this season, and you have been a big part of that failure. In this stanza, you threw for 989 yards with four touchdowns and three interceptions in four games. The worst part is that three of your touchdowns came in one game, which means your other three games were shit. You were supposed to make the ascension to the top tier of fantasy quarterbacks, but all you ended up with is a BITCHSLAP!!!

 

DREW BREES

Drew, the Saints and running and rolling, but your fantasy production has been abysmal. In these three games you threw for 816 yards with three touchdowns and four interceptions. You only had one 300-yard game, and had one game with less than 200 yards. You are supposed to be easiest money when it comes to fantasy quarterbacks, but this year you have been worth pocket change, and are now the owner of a BITCHSLAP!!!

 

ELI MANNING

Eli, you played in three games this period and they are games your owners would like to forget, if you are even still owned in fantasy. You threw for 487 yards with four touchdowns and one interception. The touchdown to interception ratio is good, but you threw for fewer than 135 yards in two of the games, with a high yardage mark of 225 yards. You have not been worth a bench spot this year, but you are getting a BITCHSLAP!!!

 

 

RUNNING BACKS

 

DEVONTA FREEMAN

Devonta, you have been a fantasy dynamo since coming into the league, but you were definitely not yourself during this time frame. You had 33 carries for 181 yards and six catches for 49 yards but scored no touchdowns. This is not the type of performance owners were expecting when they drafted you in the first round. Time to get your shit together after this BITCHSLAP!!!

 

C.J. ANDERSON

C.J., you played in three games this stanza, but you might as well have just stayed in the locker room. You carried the ball 34 times for 139 yards and caught two passes for 24 yards with no touchdowns. You can’t be counted on to give your owners the points they need to win games, but you can count on this BITCHSLAP!!!

 

AMEER ABDULLAH

Ameer, you basically disappeared during this period. You had 35 carries, but only gained 112 yards with no touchdowns. To make matters worse you only had four receptions for 14 yards, again with no touchdowns. So for those owners who suffered through these weeks playing you, it is my pleasure to tee you up for your BITCHSLAP!!!

 

 

WIDE RECEIVERS

 

BRANDIN COOKS

Brandin, you were ok during this stretch, but that was all you were, just ok. In four games you caught 20 passes for 269 yards with just one touchdown. You have failed to be the impact receiver you were when you were a Saint, and your owners are wishing for days past. To help with that wish I am going to send you back to better ways with this pick me up BITCHSLAP!!!

 

ALSHON JEFFERY

Alshon, you have not made the impact that owners were counting on when you moved from the Bears to the Eagles. In this period you were targeted 28 times, but only caught 11 passes for 201 yards with a touchdown. The way you are going your owners can’t count on you. You have one of the best young quarterbacks in game, who is having an MVP type season, and then here you are getting a BITCHSLAP!!!

 

LARRY FITZGERALD

Larry, you are one of the greatest receivers of all time, but you looked quite average over this time frame. You were only targeted 24 times and caught 19 of them for 218 yards with a touchdown and a fumble. We know you still have a lot of good football left, so it’s time to find that groove, and maybe you will get some help from your BITCHSLAP!!!

 

DOUG BALDWIN

Doug, you have been a fantasy stud as an unknown commodity, but now that everyone is aware of you and drafted you higher, you are letting them down. You only had 19 catches for 183 yards with one score during this stanza. This is not the volume of work your owners are used to, and not the type that gets wins…rather the type that gets a BITCHSLAP!!!

 

KEENAN ALLEN

Keenan, you completely disappeared during this four-week stretch. You were targeted 33 times, but only caught 16 of those targets for 214 yards with no touchdowns. That is not going to get it done in standard or PPR leagues. It doesn’t matter what type of league you are in, when you put up this type of production you get a BITCHSLAP!!!

 

MICHAEL THOMAS

Well Michael, it is not a surprise to see you here, after already lighting up your quarterback. Although, you were even worse than Drew Brees as you only caught 17 passes for 170 yards with no touchdowns. There have not been the big power weeks that you gave owners last year, but you did earn a big powerful BITCHSLAP!!!

 

JORDY NELSON

Jordy, I know you don’t have Aaron Rodgers anymore, but that doesn’t mean you should stop giving your owners any production at all. In three games you totaled nine catches for 97 yards with a touchdown. That used to be an average game for you, but these poor performances are becoming too normal for your owners. Is the old Jordy still hanging out in black and white by that tree in Kansas? If so maybe you will come back after this BITCHSLAP!!!

 

RANDALL COBB

Randall, apparently you did not want to let Jordy get all the fury because you were even worse than him during this period. You also only caught nine passé, but you only gained 72 yards without a touchdown. Seems like this is not the year to expect big fantasy points from Green Bay, but rather a bevy of BITCHSLAP!!!

 

 

TIGHT ENDS

 

DELANIE WALKER

Delanie, you have been the model of consistency over the past few seasons, but this section of the schedule was not kind to you. You played in three games and finished with 14 catches for 105 yards with no touchdowns and a fumble. You were held under 30 yards in two of your games, and have become a non-factor in the Titans passing offense. There is definitely one thing that is not passing you by, and that is your BITCHSLAP!!!

 

JASON WITTEN

Jason, it appears that you are at the end of a long and successful career, but that success is not following you to the end. In this period you had 15 catches for 146 yards with a touchdown and a fumble. While those are not atrocious numbers, they are not good enough for the owners that started you. The big play is gone from your game, so I guess we’ll just have to make a big splash with your BITCHSLAP!!!

 

 

 


 

Houdini hanging on fire

 

By: Houdini

 

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