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February 23, 2019
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Waz

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@mrmeseeksff @DomiNateFF @LetoSal @KevinCutillo Thanks man! 👊🏻


07:45 AM, Feb 23, 2019

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Waz

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@LetoSal @mrmeseeksff @DomiNateFF @KevinCutillo https://t.co/gLDHZuAkFB


07:43 AM, Feb 23, 2019

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Pyromaniac.com

@pyroman1ac


If you are looking for a badass character in fiction, look no further than Nick Heller from author @JoeFinder. ‘Van… https://t.co/lWCyHdQKPD


05:25 AM, Feb 23, 2019

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Anthony staggs

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RT @Jeff_LJ_Lloyd: TJ Hockenson 👇🏻 https://t.co/Ianc7upncL


04:40 AM, Feb 23, 2019

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Anthony staggs

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Well this happened. https://t.co/FI7z1HX8HT


04:10 AM, Feb 23, 2019

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Wheeler

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RT @TodfromPa: I will be on @SiriusXMFantasy tomorrow live drafting with @ExplosiveOutput and other killers. My segment will be 8.… https://t.co/Ymr2Ew7jo2


03:57 AM, Feb 23, 2019

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Wheeler

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@TangoandCashFF My dumb ass timed out in 6th, didn't have my settings set up correctly, never got email that it was my pick.


02:56 AM, Feb 23, 2019

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Pyromaniac.com

@pyroman1ac


@ryanpatrick24 @Toadsanime solid game.


02:42 AM, Feb 23, 2019

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Pyromaniac.com

@pyroman1ac


@Toadsanime The Ancient Art of War or The Bard’s Tale... both were way ahead of their time. https://t.co/IZj3pR4NNd


02:38 AM, Feb 23, 2019

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Pyromaniac.com

@pyroman1ac


Sierra and was my gateway as well. @AnchorBrewing as well. https://t.co/Is259Y6qKJ


01:53 AM, Feb 23, 2019

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Pyromaniac.com

@pyroman1ac


RT @SIKids: here's more from @maxhoopssports with antonio brown! https://t.co/vnB79orM9k


01:50 AM, Feb 23, 2019

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Anthony staggs

@PyroStag


@RLKania80 Agreed


01:42 AM, Feb 23, 2019

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Anthony staggs

@PyroStag


Like the over on Haskins and Love, under on Metcalf and Renfrow. What others do you like? https://t.co/D1PquGSKG7


01:10 AM, Feb 23, 2019

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Wheeler

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RT @DFF_Shane: If you're looking to break into fantasy writing hit me up. You can dm me or email Dynastyfootballfactory@gmail.com… https://t.co/k4A5OgAlJw


12:31 AM, Feb 23, 2019

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Anthony staggs

@PyroStag


I think this would be @ARizzo44 and as a Cubs fan I am just taking a loss for the team here. https://t.co/jDQKI2LZ3I


11:30 PM, Feb 22, 2019

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Wheeler

@FF_Wheeler


RT @JustinLonero: What we know about Le’Veon Bell. -missed 3 gms in ‘13 (lisfranc) -missed playoff gm in ‘14 (knee) -torn MCL in ‘15… https://t.co/Qg96GIjw7W


10:37 PM, Feb 22, 2019

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Wheeler

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@TangoandCashFF Almost pulled the trigger on him at 5.04


09:40 PM, Feb 22, 2019

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Waz

@WazNFL


RT @allinkid: I'm honestly starting to believe this is all intentional https://t.co/Ui6aHlmUzh


04:19 PM, Feb 21, 2019

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Waz

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Thank you for the water, @RotoWear! https://t.co/Mzvow6wnxa


01:15 AM, Feb 21, 2019

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Waz

@WazNFL


Spent 35% of my #KitchenSink2 dispersal bankroll on David Johnson, Derrius Guice, and James Conner. I'll allow it.


03:45 PM, Feb 20, 2019

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Mo

@pyromaniacmo


As a Nick Chubb owner. This sux! https://t.co/2x8eV6Tn0g


07:02 PM, Feb 11, 2019

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Mo

@pyromaniacmo


Ah yes. The Browns continuing a fine tradition of creating a positive culture and team dynamic. https://t.co/UfqdIHe3nr


07:00 PM, Feb 11, 2019

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Pk ripper 🤜💥🤛

@amaze652


#PinstripePride #NYYankees #RE2PECT #Last42 #Sandman #TheCloser #HOF2019 https://t.co/rM6BdXSFoi


11:30 AM, Jan 23, 2019

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@amaze652


RT @PyroStag: Incredible that this can be asked at such a young age, but if you set the line for career MVPs for Patrick Mahomes… https://t.co/aNfpbCbDgf


11:59 PM, Jan 15, 2019

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RT @ReggieBush: Just when you think you’ve seen it all, @ClemsonFB you guys deserve better you are world champs and this is the hon… https://t.co/oZSQfVAgBm


09:55 PM, Jan 15, 2019

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RT @jetswhispers: ESPN's Adam Schefter announced the Jets are finalizing deal with Gregg Williams to become their defensive coordinator.


09:49 PM, Jan 15, 2019

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@amaze652


RT @pixelnfl: Adam Gase’s introductory presser 👀 #nflart #nyjets #jets #AdamGase #footballart #jetsnation #nflart #pixelart… https://t.co/foFARjww4g


09:46 PM, Jan 15, 2019

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Mo

@pyromaniacmo


RT @MaclandJ: So I’ve got rankings updated @DynastyHHPod I’m probably wrong according to some & giving away market inefficiencies… https://t.co/cFriuwuyYh


10:55 PM, Jan 13, 2019

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Mo

@pyromaniacmo


RT @PaulCrane7: NEW Scout's Honor podcast with Joe Flacco's most likely landing spot and the OC who may join him. Problems in PIT i… https://t.co/vsfgxPVl7V


10:46 PM, Jan 13, 2019

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RT @Uncle_Odds: James White #DFS If you’re taking a shot with the Patriots backfield for me it would be White #NEvsLAC #GoPats C… https://t.co/1SqVcHyhS7


06:07 PM, Jan 13, 2019

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Brad holmes

@bradholmes17


RT @pyromaniacmo: Of course. Another @pyroman1ac man, @FF_Wheeler The most accurate #FantasyFootball ranker so far this season! Well… https://t.co/49y6HFnfoV


02:13 PM, Oct 06, 2018

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@pyroman1ac https://t.co/ZiHjlwIXio


03:36 PM, Oct 05, 2018

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RT @evansilva: #Bengals Pass Catchers Update: Tyler Eifert -- Out for year John Ross -- Groin, questionable at best A.J. Green --… https://t.co/LINlheNiFW


04:19 PM, Oct 04, 2018

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Brad holmes

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@pyroman1ac https://t.co/XRG0konwbt


02:42 PM, Oct 03, 2018

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Brad holmes

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RT @RotoViz: Dumpster Dives: Deep Waiver Pickups for Week 5 - by @DumpsterDiveFF #FantasyFootball https://t.co/i5xGgc7z40 https://t.co/F6XQEhLn7l


12:42 AM, Oct 03, 2018

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Judge houdini is back with Installment 3 of the Bitchslap!!! article!

Bitchslap! Installment 3 of 4 (2016)

Posted by d-Rx on 12/14/16

by   The Archer


@TheArcher


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We are now into the fantasy playoffs, and there are many teams that missed out on playing for a championship. This installment is dedicated to those chumps that ruined your playoff run.

 

PLAYERS STATS ARE FROM WEEK 9 – WEEK 12

 

THREE TIMERS

 

QUARTERBACKS

 

RYAN FITZPATRICK

Hey Fitz! You have been an abomination all season, and though you only started two games during this crucial stretch and you failed with a total of 463 passing yards, three touchdowns and two interceptions. You have a veteran laden team with good players at the skill positions, but you keep crashing the car. You also crashed a lot of playoff hopes, and for that I get the pleasure of delivering your third, but most likely not last BITCHSLAP!!!

 


RUNNING BACKS

 

TODD GURLEY

Gurley you have been put in a tough situation this season, but you have yet to overcome your obstacles. In these four games you carried the ball 66 times for 238 yards with one touchdown and added 783 yards on nine receptions. The problem was that your high total yard game was just 89 yards. You have played hard all season, but your stats make you look like a girly man, so now it is time to PUMP, YOU UP! BITCHSLAP!!!

 


WIDE RECEIVERS

 

BRANDON MARSHALL

Marshall you were all kinds of horrible during this period. You played in three games, and the first two were just awful, with 46 yards against the Dolphins, and 15 yards against the Rams. You caught six passes for 67 yards with a score in Week 12, but that is still not a great game, and thus the damage was done to your owners playoff hopes. You have never made the playoffs in your career, and you busted your owners this year. I am just going to bust you up with this BITCHSLAP!!!

 

ALSHON JEFFERY

Alshon you only played in one game, and in that game you only caught four passes for 47 and were held out of the endzone. Then you went ahead and got suspended for using a banned PED. You are on a Franchise Tag and are playing for a big contract…how stupid can you be??? You crushed your owners and forced them to make trades because you weakened their rosters. Now I am going to weaken your knees with your BITCHSLAP!!!

 

JOHN BROWN

JB words can’t describe just how bad you have been and these three games were the icing on the worst cake ever made. You caught a total of three passes for 49 yards in three games. Let me say that again, you caught just three passes for 49 yards TOTAL in three games. That is a bad game for most receivers, but you took it to another level. You were likely already on the bench, but you completely earned the perfect topper to your turd cake, BITCHSLAP!!!

 

MICHAEL FLOYD

Hey Michael I heard you laughing over there in the corner while I was dealing and John Brown, and want to know what makes you think your shit don’t stink? You did have a 100-yard game in Week 10, but you followed that up with games of 21 and 31 yards without a touchdown in any game. Your total of nine catches for 153 yards is not enough to escape my wrath, and don’t laugh at others…BITCHSLAP!!!

 


TIGHT ENDS

 

COBY FLEENER

Coby it has been an up and down season for you, but there have been a lot more downs than ups. That was the case for you once again in this stanza, catching 12 passes for 144 yards with one touchdown. You had 59 yards in your best game, and in the game where you scored you managed a meek 17 yards. They say the meek shall inherit the earth, but you only inherit a BITCHSLAP!!!

 

 


TWO TIMERS

 

 

RUNNING BACKS

 

THOMAS RAWLS

Rawls you returned from injury and had your owners excited that you would be there to help them make their playoff push, but you pushed many of them over the edge. In two games you carried the ball 26 times for 95 yards, with 31 yards on three receptions. Your 38 yards in Week 12 did everyone in, and you failed to find the endzone. Try not to miss any games after your BITCHSLAP!!!

 


WIDE RECEIVERS

 

DEMARYIUS THOMAS

DT you had a strong game in Week 10 with eight catches for 87 yards and a touchdown, but were completely average in your other three games, with a total of 10 catches for 116 yards and no touchdowns. You are supposed to be a pillar of strength for fantasy at the wide receiver position, but you have not delivered for your owners, but here is your second special delivery BITCHSLAP!!!

 

BRANDIN COOKS

Brandin we have come to expect a lot more than the trash you gave your owners during this stretch. You caught 15 passes for 206 yards with a touchdown in four games, but you laid a freaking goose egg in Week 12, and that was on the heels of a paltry 42-yard performance the week before. You are supposed to be a big part of the Saints high-flying offense, but the only thing flying high around you is a BITCHSLAP!!!

 

AMARI COOPER

Amari, your Raiders have been the talk of the league this year, and you have had your moments where you have shined, but this stanza was not one of them. Week 11 was your highpoint with 57 yards and a touchdown. You followed that up with 22 yards the next week and totaled just 135 yards in three games. Those are not the numbers that power your owners into the playoffs. If they are still lucky to be in the playoffs maybe you will be motivated after your second BITCHSLAP!!!

 


TIGHT ENDS

 

ROB GRONKOWSKI

Gronk you only played in two games before injury knocked you out, but you have taken a bunch of knock out hits season. You caught three passes for 56 yards against Seattle before being blasted by Earl Thomas, and then were targeted twice in Week 12 before leaving the game without a catch. It was a tough year, and really tough for your owners. As you head toward the offseason, let me send you on your way with a BITCHSLAP!!!

 

GARY BARNIDGE

Gary your owners thought there might be a chance that you would come alive to help send them to the playoffs once Josh McCown came back under center, but it was a false prophecy. In four games you caught just seven passes for 65 yards with a touchdown. That score could not cover up just how miserable you were during this stretch. 23, 8, 11, and 23 were the yards you put up during these four games. There is nothing left to say but BITCHSLAP!!!

 

 


FIRST TIMERS

 

 

QUARTERBACKS

 

ANDREW LUCK

Luck you only played in two games, but totaled just 543 passing yards with three touchdowns and three interceptions against two weak opponents in the Packers and Titans. You should be bringing more to the table at this crucial juncture of the season, so I am bringing more to get you going in the playoffs with this motivational BITCHSLAP!!!

 


RUNNING BACKS

 

DEVONTA FREEMAN

Devonta you have been putting up big numbers all season and gave it your best to avoid this slap with your two touchdowns in Week 12, but alas they were not enough. In three games you had 45 carries for just 186 yards and caught eight passes for 77 yards. That is not the killer production that you gave your owners last season, and you instead ended seasons for your owners this year. For that you have earned your first ever BITCHSLAP!!!

 

JEREMY HILL

Jeremy you have been a frustrating player all year, but you have managed to do just enough to avoid getting on my list, until now. You had 43 carries for only 129 yards with a score, and 63 yards on eight catches in three games. The touchdowns have been the only thing saving you, but you needed a whole lot more than one to save you from this BITCHSLAP!!!

 


WIDE RECEIVERS

 

KELVIN BENJAMIN

Kelvin you have been very similar to Jeremy Hill by being just good enough to avoid my backhand, but totaling just 269 yards with one score on 29 catches in four games is not enough for a top-tier receiver that you claim to be. Touchdowns are the key to success for you, and one in four games is not getting it done. So now it is time for me to show you a top-tier BITCHSLAP!!!

 

MICHAEL CRABTREE

Crabtree you are said to have some of the best hands in the league, which is why I can’t understand watching you drop touchdown passes during this stanza. In three games you were putrid, totaling a mere 142 yards on 13 receptions. You had 110 yards in Week 12 and garbage the rest of the way with no touchdowns. Well the only thing I am dropping is the hammer and you will touchdown after this BITCHSLAP!!!

 


TIGHT ENDS

 

MARTELLUS BENNETT

Gronk has been hurt and the door has been wide open for a Black Unicorn to come busting through, but instead your owners got a My Little Pony. In three games you caught 11 passes for a paltry 138 yards with no touchdowns. You have Tom Brady throwing you the ball and no Gronk and you still can’t get it done. You leave no choice but for me to get it done with your BITCHSLAP!!!

 

 

 

By: Houdini

 

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