June 21, 2018


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Tyreek Hill

Kansas City Chiefs

Hill lookin' busty with chiefs new look.

Tyreek Hill had a great 2017, amounting 75 receptions for 1183 yards and 7 touchdowns in 15 games. He’s currently being drafted in the middle of the third round in standard leagues, which would appear to be a great value. However, with promoted RB coach Eric Bieniemy presumably in-line to be the primary play caller, a new QB, Travis Kelce receiving the #1 target share and the addition of Sammy Watkins, I expect Hill’s numbers to decrease dramatically.
I believe Hill to be more of a boom or bust player this year. There’s no denying his break-away speed and ability to separate from defenders, and with Mahomes cannon of an arm, I expect them to connect deep on occasion. However, I believe Sammy Watkins to be the more complete receiver and likely to take more of the target share from Hill. Bundled with the change in offensive strategy toward the end of last year to run the ball more, the change to a young QB presumably resulting in a more conservative game plan, I see a major decline in the amount of touches Hill will get and see him as more of a 5-6 round flex play guy.

06/21/18, 10:54 AM CDT by C-wags


Eric Ebron

Detroit Lions

Ebron Could Use Some Luck

Colts signed TE Eric Ebron, formerly of the Lions, to a two-year contract. Coach Frank Reich called Ebron an "elite tight end."

The last time we saw Andrew Luck healthy (2016), the Colts used 2+ TE sets at the 3rd-highest rate in the NFL and had the 6th-highest target share to TEs.

04/01/18, 11:32 AM CDT by Wheeler


Carlos Hyde

San Francisco 49ers

Hyde and Seek

Browns agreed to terms with RB Carlos Hyde, formerly of the 49ers, on a three-year, $15 million contract.

Obtaining Hyde has several trickle-down effects; first it replaces Crowell who signed with the Jets, it probably diminishes Duke Johnson’s value a bit. Hyde is a better all-around back than Crowell was and will certainly take over the goal-line work seeing that he’s got 20+ pounds on Duke. It also reduces the likelihood that Cleveland takes Saquon Barkley with the 4th pick in the draft. They will most likely look to draft a defensive player (Chubb) or trade down again.

04/01/18, 11:28 AM CDT by Wheeler


Jerick McKinnon

Minnesota Vikings

McKinnon Goes West For Gold-Rush

49ers agreed to terms with RB Jerick McKinnon, formerly of the Vikings, on a four-year, $30 million contract.

McKinnon averaged a ho-hum 3.8 yards a carry for the Vikings and scored three rushing touchdowns. By contrast, San Francisco's former lead runner, Carlos Hyde, averaged 3.9 yards an attempt in 2017 and had eight rushing touchdowns.

It appears as though Shanahan is enamored with McKinnon's athletic metrics, but I'm not so sure he was "pounding the table" to get him. This move could push the Niner's to cut Joe Williams.

04/01/18, 11:12 AM CDT by Wheeler


Mike Wallace

Baltimore Ravens

Eagles Keep Improving

Eagles signed WR Mike Wallace to a one-year contract.
Mike Wallace can still move posting a top five max speed among wide receivers last season. He will fill the void left by Torrey Smith as a speed vertical threat.

04/01/18, 11:08 AM CDT by Wheeler


Terrelle Pryor

Washington Redskins

Jets Searching For Weapons

Jets agreed to terms with WR Terrelle Pryor, formerly of Washington and Cleveland.

Second year in a row on a new team doesn’t really help Pryor's cause, but I like the idea of him on the field with Teddy Bridgewater at some point. I would imagine, with some creativity, the Jets could really design some innovative gadget plays.
The Jets receiving corps really looks like a bunch of question marks at this point though, no telling what the week-to-week outcome will be with these guys.
Jermaine Kearse: 65 catches, 810 yards, 5 touchdowns (2017)
Robby Anderson: 63 catches, 941 yards, 7 touchdowns (2017)
Quincy Enunwa: 58 catches, 857 yards, 4 touchdowns (2016)
Terrelle Pryor: 77 catches, 1007 yards, 4 touchdowns (2016)

04/01/18, 11:04 AM CDT by Wheeler


Carlos Henderson

Denver Broncos

Sleeper Watch

Broncos coach Vance Joseph said the team is "counting on" Carlos Henderson making an impact in 2018.

If you are paying attention to Staggs projections there is plenty of opportunity for Henderson to step into a solid number of targets in the slot. Henderson was hindered by injury and awful QB play last year. Being drafted in the 18th round or later in best-ball leagues, Henderson is the late round flyer that should be on your radar.

04/01/18, 11:00 AM CDT by Wheeler


Ben Watson

Baltimore Ravens

Watson Returns To Big Easy

Saints signed TE Ben Watson, formerly of the Ravens, to a one-year contract.

Watson had 74 catches on 110 targets for 825 yards and 6 TD’s when he was with the Saints in 2015. After missing 2016 he had a pretty good year with Baltimore last year despite an anemic offense, with 61 catches on 79 targets for 522 yards and 4 TD’s. He’s not a bad late round flyer TE. He’s basically free right now, but I expect by the time the season starts he’ll be being drafted within the top 20 at the position.

04/01/18, 10:54 AM CDT by Wheeler


Jeff Janis

Green Bay Packers

Janis Truthers Challenged

Browns officially signed former Packers’ WR Jeff Janis.
The combine superstar never amounted to anything in Green Bay, I highly doubt Cleveland is the place for him to finally break-out.

04/01/18, 10:50 AM CDT by Wheeler


Thomas Rawls

Seattle Seahawks

Jets Sign Rawls

Rawls had five RB1 games in 2015, one in 2016, and has been a disappointment since. He’s not worth your time in fantasy, but he could cause enough disruption in the Jets backfield to cut any upside we might have hoped for from Isaiah Crowell.

04/01/18, 10:48 AM CDT by Wheeler


Allen Robinson

Jacksonville Jaguars

Coo coo ca choo Mr. Robinson

Bears signed WR Allen Robinson, formerly of the Jaguars, to a three-year, $42 million contract.

This is a great move for Robinson and Chicago. Nagy’s offense and the young QB, Trubiski, should benefit Robinson at least as much as Bortles did, and Chicago gets the top WR in free agency.
Everyone on the team will be in a new scheme so there will be an adjustment, but as they start to gel we should see a big second half. Robinson’s recovery from a torn ACL doesn’t scare me away from drafting him in the late third/early fourth, his current MFL10 ADP is 43 overall while his Draft app ADP is 59.9. I expect Robinson to be somewhere in the range of 75 receptions, for 1100 yards and 8 TD’s.

03/24/18, 08:25 PM CDT by Wheeler


Sammy Watkins

Los Angeles Rams

KC Building Strong Air Attack

Chiefs signed Sammy Watkins, formerly of the Rams, to a three-year, $48 million contract.

I’m a big Sammy truther so getting him in the 5th or 6th round is a pure power move. His current Draft app ADP of 87.1 is an absolute steal, his MFL10 ADP of 69.5 is still a great value in my opinion. There are quite a few options for high targets in KC so I don’t expect him to see the 128 targets he saw his rookie year, but he should definitely see more than the 70 he saw last year. He’ll have an entire offseason to work with the near-rookie QB, and at age 25 he should have enough burst left to have a 70 catch, 1050 yd, 8TD line. For his career he has 16 receptions on 30 targets for 12 TD’s in the Red Zone, and 9 receptions on 13 targets, for 8 TD’s inside the opponents 10. He should be the exact WR the Chiefs need to get over the hump. As a team the Chiefs were 34/75 for 13 TD’s in the Red-Zone last year and 12/24 for 10 TD inside the 10.

03/24/18, 08:19 PM CDT by Wheeler


Kirk Cousins

Washington Redskins

Vikings Like That

Kirk Cousins plans to sign a three-year, fully-guaranteed contract from the Minnesota Vikings on Thursday. The deal is believed to be for around $86 million, and reports are it will be fully-guaranteed, a landmark for an NFL free agent.

Should be a lateral move for Kirk as far as fantasy, better WR’s, but fewer passes thrown in this offense. A healthy Dalvin Cook should be able to run out the clock if they are up in the second half of games and take the ball out of Cousins hands near the end zone. It should also help the overall efficiency of the offense so all in all it increases his floor, but cuts any garbage-time production we’ve seen with Washington. Kyle Rudolph becomes a big benefactor here, Cousins loves his TE, especially near the end-zone.

03/24/18, 08:16 PM CDT by Wheeler


Case Keenum

Minnesota Vikings

Denver Makes Case

Broncos signed QB Case Keenum, formerly of the Vikings, to a two-year, $36 million contract.

Well, I was hoping for more than a bridge QB for my favorite WR (D. Thomas), but this is a definite upgrade from the three stooges Denver put behind center last year.

03/24/18, 08:13 PM CDT by Wheeler


LeGarrette Blount

Philadelphia Eagles

Detroit Sparks Up Blount

The Lions signed free agent RB LeGarrette Blount to a 1-year deal worth $4.5M. He’s back with Matt Patricia, as the New England ties are strong.

The Lions have needed a true goal-line/power-back for years. I expect Blount to get between 150-200 touches and all the short-yardage carries. Detroit’s offense doesn’t really fit what Blount brings to the table, but I expect Patricia will have some influence over how the offense will operate from here-on-out.

03/24/18, 08:10 PM CDT by Wheeler


Cleveland Browns

Money Ball: The Sequel

Hate to start out the offseason with the Cleveland Browns, but they are makin’ moves!
Browns acquired: Tyrod Taylor, Jarvis Landry, Damarious Randall
Browns gave up: 2018 3rd-round pick (No. 65), 2018 4th-round pick, 2019 7th-round pick, DeShone Kizer

Building with experienced quality performers that have something to prove, by selling inconsequential draft picks is exactly what Sashi Brown was building up for. It’s a shame he won’t be around to reap the rewards, but these are quality moves for a win-now mentality.

03/09/18, 09:37 PM CST by Wheeler


Tyrod Taylor

Buffalo Bills

Hue Looks To TyGoat

Browns left tackle Joe Thomas, who's pondering his future, is a fan of Tyrod Taylor and has said so on the ThomaHawk Show podcast.

Tyrod is just one season removed (2016) from being the QB11 in average fantasy ppg, including seven 20+ point weeks and six 15+ point weeks. Given the current talent on the O-line and skill position weapons he could improve on those numbers. He has the potential to be this year’s Alex Smith, definitely heading my late-round (12+) QB picks now.

03/09/18, 09:32 PM CST by Wheeler


Deshone Kizer

Cleveland Browns

Packers Get In On The Fun

The Packers have traded for QB DeShone Kizer from the Browns to Green Bay.

This is the best possible scenario for Kizer, who was thrown into the fire last season. Getting the chance to develop and learn behind the best in the business is the best chance he has for longevity.

03/09/18, 09:30 PM CST by Wheeler


Torrey Smith

Philadelphia Eagles

On The Move Again

The Eagles trade WR Torrey Smith to the Panthers for CB Daryl Worley. Torrey Smith could fill the old Ted Ginn role which makes this fairly interesting. Stagg Party says it’s more of a boost for Cam than Torrey himself.

This is an absolute perfect fit, someone who isn’t going to demand the ball, but can take the top off a defense while McCaffrey, Olsen, and Cam work underneath. Torrey is looking like a great late-round flyer.

03/09/18, 09:28 PM CST by Wheeler


DeMarco Murray

Tennessee Titans

Henry Hype Train Has Clear Track

DeMarco Murray was released by the Titans.
No surprise here, expect Derick Henry to be a lead back with 250+ touches, but they will bring in someone that will play the third-down, pass-catching role out of the backfield. I wouldn’t be surprised if they sign someone like Jerick McKinnon or Rex Burkhead, or even Darren Sproles or Charles Sims. There are also plenty of options in the NFL draft, Henry won’t be a true “Bell Cow.”

03/09/18, 09:17 PM CST by Wheeler


Judge houdini is back with Installment 3 of the Bitchslap!!! article!

Bitchslap! Installment 3 of 4 (2016)

Posted by d-Rx on 12/14/16

by   The Archer


More Articals


We are now into the fantasy playoffs, and there are many teams that missed out on playing for a championship. This installment is dedicated to those chumps that ruined your playoff run.









Hey Fitz! You have been an abomination all season, and though you only started two games during this crucial stretch and you failed with a total of 463 passing yards, three touchdowns and two interceptions. You have a veteran laden team with good players at the skill positions, but you keep crashing the car. You also crashed a lot of playoff hopes, and for that I get the pleasure of delivering your third, but most likely not last BITCHSLAP!!!





Gurley you have been put in a tough situation this season, but you have yet to overcome your obstacles. In these four games you carried the ball 66 times for 238 yards with one touchdown and added 783 yards on nine receptions. The problem was that your high total yard game was just 89 yards. You have played hard all season, but your stats make you look like a girly man, so now it is time to PUMP, YOU UP! BITCHSLAP!!!





Marshall you were all kinds of horrible during this period. You played in three games, and the first two were just awful, with 46 yards against the Dolphins, and 15 yards against the Rams. You caught six passes for 67 yards with a score in Week 12, but that is still not a great game, and thus the damage was done to your owners playoff hopes. You have never made the playoffs in your career, and you busted your owners this year. I am just going to bust you up with this BITCHSLAP!!!



Alshon you only played in one game, and in that game you only caught four passes for 47 and were held out of the endzone. Then you went ahead and got suspended for using a banned PED. You are on a Franchise Tag and are playing for a big contract…how stupid can you be??? You crushed your owners and forced them to make trades because you weakened their rosters. Now I am going to weaken your knees with your BITCHSLAP!!!



JB words can’t describe just how bad you have been and these three games were the icing on the worst cake ever made. You caught a total of three passes for 49 yards in three games. Let me say that again, you caught just three passes for 49 yards TOTAL in three games. That is a bad game for most receivers, but you took it to another level. You were likely already on the bench, but you completely earned the perfect topper to your turd cake, BITCHSLAP!!!



Hey Michael I heard you laughing over there in the corner while I was dealing and John Brown, and want to know what makes you think your shit don’t stink? You did have a 100-yard game in Week 10, but you followed that up with games of 21 and 31 yards without a touchdown in any game. Your total of nine catches for 153 yards is not enough to escape my wrath, and don’t laugh at others…BITCHSLAP!!!





Coby it has been an up and down season for you, but there have been a lot more downs than ups. That was the case for you once again in this stanza, catching 12 passes for 144 yards with one touchdown. You had 59 yards in your best game, and in the game where you scored you managed a meek 17 yards. They say the meek shall inherit the earth, but you only inherit a BITCHSLAP!!!









Rawls you returned from injury and had your owners excited that you would be there to help them make their playoff push, but you pushed many of them over the edge. In two games you carried the ball 26 times for 95 yards, with 31 yards on three receptions. Your 38 yards in Week 12 did everyone in, and you failed to find the endzone. Try not to miss any games after your BITCHSLAP!!!





DT you had a strong game in Week 10 with eight catches for 87 yards and a touchdown, but were completely average in your other three games, with a total of 10 catches for 116 yards and no touchdowns. You are supposed to be a pillar of strength for fantasy at the wide receiver position, but you have not delivered for your owners, but here is your second special delivery BITCHSLAP!!!



Brandin we have come to expect a lot more than the trash you gave your owners during this stretch. You caught 15 passes for 206 yards with a touchdown in four games, but you laid a freaking goose egg in Week 12, and that was on the heels of a paltry 42-yard performance the week before. You are supposed to be a big part of the Saints high-flying offense, but the only thing flying high around you is a BITCHSLAP!!!



Amari, your Raiders have been the talk of the league this year, and you have had your moments where you have shined, but this stanza was not one of them. Week 11 was your highpoint with 57 yards and a touchdown. You followed that up with 22 yards the next week and totaled just 135 yards in three games. Those are not the numbers that power your owners into the playoffs. If they are still lucky to be in the playoffs maybe you will be motivated after your second BITCHSLAP!!!





Gronk you only played in two games before injury knocked you out, but you have taken a bunch of knock out hits season. You caught three passes for 56 yards against Seattle before being blasted by Earl Thomas, and then were targeted twice in Week 12 before leaving the game without a catch. It was a tough year, and really tough for your owners. As you head toward the offseason, let me send you on your way with a BITCHSLAP!!!



Gary your owners thought there might be a chance that you would come alive to help send them to the playoffs once Josh McCown came back under center, but it was a false prophecy. In four games you caught just seven passes for 65 yards with a touchdown. That score could not cover up just how miserable you were during this stretch. 23, 8, 11, and 23 were the yards you put up during these four games. There is nothing left to say but BITCHSLAP!!!









Luck you only played in two games, but totaled just 543 passing yards with three touchdowns and three interceptions against two weak opponents in the Packers and Titans. You should be bringing more to the table at this crucial juncture of the season, so I am bringing more to get you going in the playoffs with this motivational BITCHSLAP!!!





Devonta you have been putting up big numbers all season and gave it your best to avoid this slap with your two touchdowns in Week 12, but alas they were not enough. In three games you had 45 carries for just 186 yards and caught eight passes for 77 yards. That is not the killer production that you gave your owners last season, and you instead ended seasons for your owners this year. For that you have earned your first ever BITCHSLAP!!!



Jeremy you have been a frustrating player all year, but you have managed to do just enough to avoid getting on my list, until now. You had 43 carries for only 129 yards with a score, and 63 yards on eight catches in three games. The touchdowns have been the only thing saving you, but you needed a whole lot more than one to save you from this BITCHSLAP!!!





Kelvin you have been very similar to Jeremy Hill by being just good enough to avoid my backhand, but totaling just 269 yards with one score on 29 catches in four games is not enough for a top-tier receiver that you claim to be. Touchdowns are the key to success for you, and one in four games is not getting it done. So now it is time for me to show you a top-tier BITCHSLAP!!!



Crabtree you are said to have some of the best hands in the league, which is why I can’t understand watching you drop touchdown passes during this stanza. In three games you were putrid, totaling a mere 142 yards on 13 receptions. You had 110 yards in Week 12 and garbage the rest of the way with no touchdowns. Well the only thing I am dropping is the hammer and you will touchdown after this BITCHSLAP!!!





Gronk has been hurt and the door has been wide open for a Black Unicorn to come busting through, but instead your owners got a My Little Pony. In three games you caught 11 passes for a paltry 138 yards with no touchdowns. You have Tom Brady throwing you the ball and no Gronk and you still can’t get it done. You leave no choice but for me to get it done with your BITCHSLAP!!!




By: Houdini


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